Scream Ferocity
by Hope Shalott
Summary: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire." Leah finally snaps:
1. The Beginning

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Kurt Tucholsky.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

**The Beginning**

* * *

_~Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply._

_ Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire.~_

The particulars of the club she is in are not worth mentioning. It is a dive and smells of stale liquor and sweat. It offends her and there is nothing more to be said than that. She moves like fire, cutting a path all the way to the bar and smiles in the face of the patrons stares. Cartoon men with their tongues hanging out spring to mind but none of them can have her. Even if they could, they couldn't hold her.

There is a natural, predatory swing to her hips that she always, always emphasizes. It is shocking how many times they fall for it. She has been called a bombshell before. If only they knew how quickly she could go off.

Black hair, brown eyes, no skin on show. There is no need for that. Just one look in her eyes and they know she is something far greater than their fat little wives can aspire to. They will go home tonight and make love to their women, huffing and puffing and seeing _her_ face.

And in her face is a promise that she never intends on keeping but then what does that matter? What could they really do about it anyway?

"Hey, baby."

_And it starts._

"Can I-"

"No"

His breath offends her though to be fair, these days it doesn't take much. Good looking, nice dresser, charming—-she can understand why he is surprised at her outright refusal. His shoulders tense, back straightens, fists ball. _Instinct. _All she has to do is let a little of it slip through. The back of her eyes tingle. Her skin itches. Pheromones and chemicals shift in the air.

The human ego is no match for the beast that lives inside her.

He deflates and leaves but not before hissing "Bitch."

Well, he gets some points for that one. She is a bitch, a literal bitch with the ability to tear into him until her fur runs slick with his blood. She is a genetic freak. All fury and scorn in a predator's body. Has there ever been anything more dangerous than her?

Sometimes she feels like her anger alone could level the world.

The Creator responsible for her twisted mutation is a cruel and unmerciful one. She can't even take comfort in getting mind numbingly drunk anymore. Booze tastes like metal on her tongue. What a trade off.

She has no fate, no destiny. She is a force of nature and she is never allowed to forget it. They will not forget it either. She will not let them because she is charred and black, blazing from the inside out so no one can see the fire.

They wont.

Not until they're burning in it.

...


	2. The Beginning: Part Two

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote attributed to ~unknown~

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

**The Beginning: Part Two**

* * *

"_The notes most seldom heard will on rare occasions make themselves audible"_

A person will go to extraordinary lengths to protect their family. Isn't that a commonly known fact? Women lift cars off their children, siblings give each other kidneys. When did things become so wrong?

Once upon a time she believed it but it is all just fairy tales now.

"I'm sorry. I love him." Fat tears drip down Emily's twisted face. "I can't help it. I can't help how I feel."

Leah can't speak. Every second she exists is another spent hurting. There is a stabbing pain right in her heart. Isn't hate an emotion?

She feels it like a kick in the gut.

She tries to understand but she can't. Everything is twisted and turned upside down. Nothing makes sense anymore. She wants to kick and scream, cry like a child with her mama and daddy's arms around her.

"It just happened. He's my soulmate. Please forgive me."

_Wrong. _He is Leah's soulmate and Emily is stealing him from her_._

Emily sniffles and wipes her nose on her sleeve. "Please, say something, Leah. This isn't like you. You're scaring me."

_Well, you're killing me._

Leah stares at her. It has to be a joke, it has to be wrong. _She_ couldn't do this. He couldn't do this. People she loves couldn't hurt her so much. "I know you can't help how you feel," she says, voice level, trying her best to be understanding. "But you can choose what you do."

Emily knows it is an ultimatum and Leah knows that the choice is already made.

"I love you. You're like a sister to me. Please just forgive me. Please try to understand."

Leah leaves because if she doesn't she will go crazy. She will hit out and never stop. "You're not my sister anymore."

….

She goes home. She needs to be around people who she knows will have her back. She needs to know that the world is right and that Emily and Sam are the ones who are all fucked up and wrong.

"Daddy! Mom!" She hollers as soon as she walks through the door. The daze and confusion gives way as soon as she sees their faces and she collapses into their arms, unable to speak as her father asks her what is wrong. Somewhere deep is a sick feeling that he already knows.

She tells them, stuttering her words and choking on her tears. Her mother stares at her, confused and angry. Her daddy looks conflicted.

_Why? _

"Leah, you have to understand that sometimes the heart wants what it wants."

Her heart stops all over again. That isn't what he is supposed to say. _Why isn't he angry?_ "What?"

He smooths her hair and gives her a painful look. "Maybe...maybe you and Sam just weren't meant to be, princess."

Her mother looks dumbfounded. "Harry?"

Her father shakes his head and her mother bites back whatever she was going to say. The set of her jaw demands an explanation, if not now then later.

"My cousin has just stolen my boyfriend." Leah says slowly, as if pacing her words right might help them understand. Maybe they didn't hear her right. Maybe they thought she was talking about a different Emily.

Her daddy shakes his head. "You can't help how you feel, baby."

She pulls away from him and runs through to her room, as far away as she can run but it's not far enough. It feels as though everybody is playing a joke but they're not letting her in on it.

_How could they?_

_..._

Sam is even worse. He stops by the next day telling her that he wants to explain, that he needs her to understand but he still spouts the same crap that Emily did.

"I can't help it. I love her. We didn't mean to hurt you. Please forgive me." _Please help me feel better for stabbing you in the gut, Leah. Please tell me it's okay while I'm ripping out your heart. _

"I hate you," she says.

Sam just nods and she knows that her hate is acceptable even if it hurts him. He loves Emily now and Leah is collateral damage. She is just not that important any more.

She feels it all, swirling inside her stomach until it turns her sick. So angry, confused, hurt, ashamed...

It hurts so bad and nobody can tell her why she has to go through this. _Why?_

….

"I've invited them over for dinner."

Her father tries to sound sympathetic but Leah would have preferred him to pick up the kitchen knife and slam it straight into her heart.

"Why would you do that?" Her voice is calm. There has to be an explanation.

He moves towards her, tries to embrace her and she slams him back, surprised at how strong her anger makes her.

He shakes his head sadly. "You have to try to understand. You and Emily are family. You can't let this come between you."

Leah picks up a glass and before she can decide to throw it at his head she launches it at the cupboard behind him. The shattering glass is as loud as thunder. She can hear footsteps from the hall, Seth throwing his XBox controller down.

"How could you?" she screams. "Why are you doing this to me?" God, her anger burns.

Her father shakes his head and she can see him struggling to hold back tears.

Suddenly she feels restless, something itching under her skin to do something, _anything._ "You're supposed to love me, not Sam and Emily." She slams cupboards and kicks at the chairs.

"Calm down, Leah."

She didn't even realise her mother was in the room. Seth runs to her side. "What's going on?"

She ignores them both. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

Harry, because this man isn't her daddy, rushes to her side and forces her into a hug. He won't let her go, even when she struggles with more strength than she realised she had. "I'm doing this for you, sweetheart," he whispers, voice thick with tears she can feel on her own face. "You have to let go, darling. Sam is never coming back to you."

Sue is running her hands over Leah's hair, Leah's face...trying to make it better as only a mother can but mothers are human and there are some places in a persons soul that just can't be touched.

"God, baby. You're burning up," she says. "Seth, get a damp cloth."

Leah pushes her hands away. "I don't want a fucking cloth, I don't want you touching me. Let me go, let me go, let me GO!"

The world stops turning backwards and finally explodes...and it feels wonderful, all her pent up rage bursting out of her. She feels like she can tear into it.

Her mother breaks the silence with an ear piercing scream. Leah feels it rattling inside her head and she knows something is wrong. This is Sue Clearwater. Nothing scares her that badly.

Leah tries to run, legs buckling under her, body twisting as a voice in her head tells her to run. Run because it is not safe. This house, this world...it is not yours. You don't belong to it.

"Stop her," Harry yells, breathing deep and clutching his chest. He sounds so confused, so shocked.

Neither her mother or Seth oblige. They are both huddled together, tears staining their shocked face.

She tries to speak, cry for help, and it comes out a low rumble in her chest. She looks down and she can see paws, claws thick and shiny, scraping linoleum into shreds. Back legs kicking chairs into splinters. Sharp canines drawing blood from a thick tongue and a feeling that she's not who she used to be. Something has changed.

_She_ has changed.

"Harry!"

Sue runs to his side, hands shaking with panic as she pulls open his shirt. His breathing is getting more shallow and Leah can hear his heart slow but she can't make sense of it and so she doesn't pay attention. She's still trying to run, frantically and unsuccessfully.

"Take care of them," she hears her father say. "Take care of her."

It is the last thing Leah hears before her legs buckle under her and her head hits the floor with a thump. The earth stops turning all together.

If she had known just what kind of world she would wake up to, she wouldn't have bothered.

...


	3. The Scars We Bear

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to ~unknown~

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~Those who have not carried your burden cannot know how much it weighs~_

* * *

**The Story:**

**Chapter One: The Scars We Bear**

Dorothy got lucky.

Oz was really such a beautiful place. Bright, happy, joyful and there were friends around every corner. Evil had the mercy to wear its true face, hide away in the darkened woods.

But it is not like that here.

What kind of story is it when the wicked witch turns out to be your best friend and the Cowardly Lion is the man you planned to spend forever with? Though maybe that is an unfair comparison. Even the lion found some courage in the end.

Imagine the scarecrow, all gangly limbs and good nature, eating at the bad guys table and what does that make Leah? The tin man maybe? She could do with a new heart. Hers is broken.

"I think I'm going for the lilies." Emily says, flipping though another wedding magazine. "These ones are so beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yes," Leah replies, her mouth twisting into a sneer that she quickly turns into a smile. It is funny, really, because lilies symbolise honour and beauty and Emily doesn't have either. _Not anymore. _

_S_he mentally smirks as she eyes the vicious scars upon her 'sister's' face.

Some would call it a tragedy. The less sympathetic might say it was unfortunate. Leah calls it justice. But it is still bitter-sweet because those deep, red welts will never come close to the damage done to her heart.

"What about carnations?" Leah suggests because carnations are boring and so are Emily and Sam. Emily's mouth twists into a grimace but it is hard to tell the difference.

"Carnations are too...they're not...they don't say enough."

"Says here that they symbolise pure and ardent love," Leah says, nonchalantly. She's flipping through a magazine without reading it. Her voice holds no trace of the anger she feels. Her tone is sweet and encouraging. A good show but she's had a lot of practise at plastering on a smile, keeping her mouth shut. Only those who live in her head know the truth but nobody speaks about it. They all like the peace and quiet, they like to see Emily happy and Leah's pretty sure that they like to see her suffer.

"Pure and ardent love," Emily echoes and Leah knows there will be carnations at the wedding. She'd laugh at the idea, that her cousin thinks her farce of a relationship is in anyway pure if Sam didn't feel the same way. She knows the truth at least. Their love will forever be tainted by her agony.

Emily's hand stills on the magazine and she smiles at Leah. "I'm really glad that things are getting better between us. Thank you for agreeing to be my bridesmaid."

Leah smiles back, the ingenuity of it balling in her stomach but Emily won't see it. She wants to believe the lie.

"Have you set a date yet?" She picks up her cup and chokes down tea that is far too sweet. Normal, normal, just be normal...but what the fuck is normal anymore?

Emily sighs "No, it's difficult trying to work around the wolf stuff and get the money together and everything."

Yeah, it's such hard work stealing Leah's life.

"Weddings are expensive." Leah knows that for a fact. Emily and Sam's wedding has cost her more than she ever thought she could bear to lose. It would have been nice if she'd had a choice in footing the bill.

There is a commotion at the front door and Emily's eyes light up as Sam appears in the kitchen. He is followed by Paul and Jake but she doesn't see them. Sam takes her mangled face in his hands and kisses her scars. Leah wonders if they are both insensitive or just stupid and it breaks her heart that it takes him seven seconds to notice that she is there.

"Hey." He smiles at her and she wants to rip it off his face. It's diluted. The kind of smile you give your fiancée's cousin.

_Do you remember when you used to sneak through my window and we'd spend the night whispering our secrets to each other because even though my parents would have kicked both our asses if they found out, we just just had to know everything about each other? _

She smiles back sarcastically. She might have to keep up appearances for Emily but Sam knows the truth. It is a good thing really. She is sure she could never manage the same casual distance that poisons his every action towards her.

_Hey Sam, do you remember that time when your grandfather died and you cried in my arms about how he was the only man you were ever able to look up to and then you promised that you'd be that kind of man for our children?_

He can't hear her but she has to tell someone, even if it is only herself because it seems like the whole world has forgotten that he used to be her Sam.

_I've seen you cry. I know you better. I love you more. _

It is a silent scream that he won't hear. He never does. Not until they are both wolves and then he just doesn't listen.

"Any of those chocolate cookies left, Em?" Jacob asks, peering over the other woman's shoulder. It is really quite pathetic. Grown men, superior humans yet they are slaves to the culinary confections of Little Suzie Homemaker. What a man wouldn't give for a good batch of muffins, she thinks, unable to take her eyes off Sam. She doesn't get the appeal anyway. Emily's cookies taste like bitter shit to her.

"Do you want some, Leah?" Emily asks, ever the gracious hostess. She wants to say no but they are watching her, waiting for her to make her move. She knows what they want and she gives it to them. They want a smile on Emily's ruined face, they want her content in the knowledge that Leah doesn't hate her for ripping her heart out.

What she wants no longer matters, so she takes a cookie and thanks her cousin. Sam's shoulders relax, Jacob gives her a soft smile and she forces the bitterness down. Emily watches her. She can feel her eyes on her with each bite she takes.

"I'm making omelette for dinner. Are you going to stay, Leah?"

"Sorry, told mom I'd pick up some onions on the way home. Maybe next time." And that time will never come because Leah is good but she's not that good. She pushes her chair back because daddy always told her that when you are in a bad situation, it is better to just walk away and she heeds that advice

"I should go, I'm late already."

Emily pouts and wraps her arms around her in a hug. Leah can feel her heart beating strong against her. Strong, happy, healthy. Only clenching her fists waters down the urge to decapitate her with the plate of cookies she hands over.

"Thanks" she says with a sweet smile. One must be mature and gracious when dealing with shitbags and whores. Jake grins at her as she leaves and she forces a smile to her face.

_Do you remember, Black...not that long ago, when we were friends and you were my only comfort? I was the one person who understood you and you were the only thing keeping me from this. Do you remember, when just for a little while, I was happy?_

Jacob Black couldn't handle being in charge and then he became just like them. _Please understand. I was just never cut out for this. This is never what I wanted. It's too much pressure. All I can think about is Nessie. I can't be a leader._

She steps out, the chatter fading behind her. There's no place like home where the yellow brick road is dusty gravel and evil lives right on your doorstep and fat little women are poking their faces through the windows of their shanty little houses and dissecting your life because their own are too miserable to bear.

Dorothy was an idiot.

Who would ever want to come back here?

...


	4. War Games

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Harriet Lerner.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~Anger is a signal and one worth listening to~_

* * *

**War Games**

To win a battle, strike first. That is what they say anyway. Leah didn't know that when she first joined the Pack but she has learned.

It was just niggling little comments at first about how difficult it was phasing in front of a girl, how awkward it was hearing about Sam when he was _right there_, or how embarrassing it was remembering that dream where he ran his hands over your body and whispered your name in your ear.

She suffered too. She suffered right through fantasies of Bella Swan and Jenny Pemberton and Angelina Jolie. She looked at her own body through a teenage boys eyes and wanted to fuck herself silly. She knew how embarrassed Embry was about the rumors that followed his mother around town and how Paul was worried that his dick wasn't shaped right but she tried to keep her mouth shut and her mind clear.

They didn't.

_Can't she see how happy they are? _

Bitter

_They were made for each other._

Cruel

_Yeah, it sucks and all but come on, Sam and Emily are soulmates._

Mean

_I hate to see her hurting but Sam and Emily are so in love. _

Sarcastic

_Get over it! _

Bitch

All running through her mind like a list and not just in wolf form. They haunted her when she slept, when she tried to sleep, while she showered. Until she started making lists of her own. Then they forgot about her pain and started focusing on their own.

_Billy Black?_

_Old Quil?_

_Joshua Uley? _

Embry feels it deep because he has been carrying it around for so long and he still doesn't know.

_Baby Nessie_

_4 year old Nessie_

_18 year old Nessie._

_Dead Nessie. _

Jacob fights his pain with anger and she often goes home with tufts of fur missing from her hind legs and bite marks on her neck.

_You hurt Emily_

_You ruined her pretty face_

_You tore her up_

_Monster_

To Sam, it hurts almost as much as dying and that is good, because now he has an inkling of what she feels.

It's almost poetic this wolf telepathy. Back when she still believed anyone gave a shit about her, she had made herself hoarse trying to make them listen. Tried so hard to make them hear her. Now they don't have a choice. It's not her fault if they can't take it. She had to.

_Just disappear._

_I wish._

She doesn't even bother arguing back anymore. Now she just laughs. How could they understand that it isn't any of those things? It is survival, pure and simple. You strike first. Early bird catches the worm. When they hit you, hit them back harder.

They had forced her into the niche of being the weakest and so she had to fight the hardest or they would take everything she had left and she wouldn't allow that. She couldn't afford to.

It is Jacob who comes to her this time. Sam has given up but then, it is not about him anymore. "You're starting to get on everyone's nerves again, Leah."

She wonders if he has been delegated this duty or if he took it upon himself. That wouldn't surprise her. He is a natural leader even if he doesn't realise it, or refuses to acknowledge it. "Why can't you just try to be nicer to everyone?"

"I would have helped you. I would have shouldered some of the responsibility. I would have done everything you couldn't and I wouldn't have even told anyone about it."

Jacob sighs. "Not this again. I told you, I can't run my life around making you happy."

It seems nobody can do that for her, not even just a little.

"Why do you do it?" There is no anger in Jacob's voice. Only disappointment but she doesn't answer anyway because she had just told him why.

"Oh, go home to your leech spawn. Then everything will be all rainbows and smiles and the whole world will make sense again." She laughs even though it is still the most tragic thing she has ever heard.

Her only reply is a sad look and a shake of his head. "I used to hate you, Leah...but now I just pity you. You're more pathetic than I ever realised."

He really does pity her. She can hear it in his voice. It strikes deep until she reminds herself that his whole world revolves around a three year old vampire hybrid.

"I promise you that however much you pity me, I pity you more."

When did people stop fighting for what they believed in? Sometimes she feels like she is in one of those disaster movies, like she has woken up and nothing is as she remembered. Everything she thought was right, still thinks is right, doesn't seem that important to them anymore. Maybe she has always been this alone, just kidding herself that they felt like her, thought like her. Sometimes, in the darkness of her room where no one can see the doubt on her face, she wonders if maybe she is the one that is wrong. Maybe she is being petty and selfish but then it hurts so much that if that is the truth, then she is stuck that way. That is what she has been all along. But Jacob doesn't see any of this because she doesn't want him to.

There is no pity on her face, no emotion in her voice when she says,"And I'm still in a better place than you are, Black, because I stopped caring about you a while ago."

_I stopped caring about all of you._

It is surprising how much she means it

...

Her mother is baking biscuits, a clear sign that they are having guests over. Leah just hopes it isn't the Blacks because Jacob is the last person she wants to see right now.

She walks up behind Sue and swipes a ball of cookie dough, earning herself a swat with a sticky tea towel.

"Anyone special?" She asks, teeth sticking together as she chews.

There is a slight tension in her mothers shoulders and her heartbeat trips a little faster but Leah can see that she is bracing for the conflict. She already knows that there is no point in arguing.

"Sam and Emily are coming for dinner tonight."

Nodding, because she knew it was coming, she downs a glass of water and slams it down on the counter. "I'm going out."

"No, you're not."

She laughs bitterly. "Try and stop me, Sue."

That is a new trick she is trying and as petty as it is, it rings true in moments like these. Sue doesn't feel like her mother right now. What kind of mother does this to her child?

Sue sighs and bites her lip. She is angry and Leah is angry because Sue has no right to be.

"How long are you going to keep this up, Leah?"

Leah shrugs and purses her lips sarcastically. "Uh, I dunno. Maybe until I wake up and realise that all of this is just a nightmare and my cousin isn't really a selfish slut and that my boyfriend isn't a heartless bastard and that my mother stops expecting me to just be okay with it all...maybe then."

Sue blinks slowly, and sadly. "I've already invited them. They're your family now, whether you like it or not and the thing about families is that they stick together. Do what you want."

"Would you still think that if Dad had run off with Auntie Deb?"

"It's not the same thing, Leah. You know that."

Leah wants to hit something. "It's feels the same to me."

She slams her fist down on the table and wood cracks and splinters. "Can't you just imagine being me for a minute, mom? Can't you think about how you'd feel if you had to watch daddy shaking Sam's hand and congratulating him?"

"Leah, Sam is part of the tribe. Your father knew that we all had to stick together, leave the past in the past."

"It's not my past! It's everywhere I fucking go. It's living a fucking five minute walk away from here, it's in my god-damned head!"

But it is like talking to a wall because Sue just keeps shaking her head and repeating herself over and over and however hard Leah tries to argue and make her _see_, her mother's ears are closed to her.

"And I don't matter, right? It's okay for them to hurt me and betray me as long as it doesn't affect the tribe? As long as the pack is okay?"

Sue isn't even speaking anymore, she is just watching Leah with that look, that _pity. Always fucking pity! _

"And even Seth is trailing around after them, like a dumb little puppy, stuffing himself silly with muffins. Who's there for me?"

It feels like together Sam and Emily have ripped her to pieces, smiling and laughing all the way through until she is completely dead inside and no one cares enough to even hate them for killing her.

And this, the way people were acting around her, the few people who she would have thought she could count on more than her whore cousin and her dumb fuck fiancee, their reactions hurt just as badly.

It is getting harder and harder trying to keep it all tucked away.

...


	5. Burn Out

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Jean Baptise Racine.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~The heart that can no longer love passionately, must with fury hate~_

* * *

** Burn Out**

Leah doesn't leave. Instead, she walks to her room, slow and slovenly. Anyone looking would call her a zombie and she couldn't really argue with that assessment. There is nothing left. No one left.

She can't speak, she can't feel, she can't hurt and she can't even think because no one likes the truth. No one cares about the truth.

The truth hurts.

But Leah can think of a million things that hurt worse.

It is hard to keep the words out when they are forced into your mind. They hit their target like arrows, shot from the brains of boys and men who don't know any better. They like to think they're making a stand, defending one of their own. They don't know the hypocrisy in their words.

What she would have given for just one kind word when she was most afraid. Of being a freak, a monster; all those things and more. Maybe when they are older they'll understand what she has lost. When they have children of their own they might see how hurt she was, what she had given, willingly or not, to stand by their side.

But back then, she would have settled for one word.

"I hate Sam. I hate Emily. I hate Jacob, I hate Seth, I hate Sue" she goes through each of their names leaving only one, almost daring herself to say it.

"I hate _you_, daddy."

For a moment, the guilt is unbearable.

"I don't have a daddy anymore." That feels better. "I don't have a mom. I don't have a brother."

The mantra calms her.

"I don't have friends. I don't have anything. I'm not a person. I'm an animal. I'm not a person, I am an animal..."

Footsteps on the path. Gravel under feet. Emily's smell. Sam's smell and...their smell. "I'm an animal. I'm an animal."

"Hi, Auntie Sue. What are you cooking? It smells lovely."

She could just run right through them. Kill them all. She's so sure that she could do it, so sure that she wouldn't even care. It scares her.

"Mmm, casserole."

That would make them see, that would make them understand. Their humanity between her fingers, broken so easily. So powerful that they could taste her hate.

"Is Leah home?"

"She's getting ready for dinner."

Her voice is sickening. It makes her so angry she could pull the stars from the sky and rip apart the world with her bare hands. How would Emily explain that?

How could she justify her love if it broke the world into pieces?

Leah would watch her try, because she still would. Her delusion is strong enough. Leah would laugh as tears tracked down her ugly face and blood washed over her like a tidal wave.

Her mother's last thought, her brother's last thought, Jacob's last though would be; I failed. If only I had listened.

"Leah? Honey, Dinner is almost ready." There is almost a promise in her mother's words; It will be okay. I'll protect you.

_Liar. You're not my family. Family is a lie._ She's holding on to it by a thin string but she doesn't really know what 'it' is anymore. A family that let her down? A pack that rubs salt in her already painful wounds? The two people she depended on most to fight and love her-the two people who could do neither?

"Leah!"

She can even feel it, pulling at the edges. A voice in her head saying; _stop fighting it._ _Why make things harder on yourself? It's your own fault for caring._

A cold pleasure in the corners of her pain, threatening, or promising, to make her numb. She can't erase her feelings, nothing is that powerful, but she can give into the siren song. Close her eyes, her ears, her heart and stop caring. If there is nothing left to take then nothing can hurt her.

If she buries it all away then nobody can reach her and if she is nobody then nobody can love her. No can love her and no one can leave her and let's be honest, hasn't she been dead for a while anyway? Walking dead with no purpose besides pretending to live. Nobody talks to dead men. Nobody cares about them or hurts them.

And what is the alternative?

Stay here and break?

Break here and break everything with her. It is for the best really.

"Leah!"

Before long, her hands shimmer into paws and it takes a moment for her to stop clawing away at her bag. It takes a second for her to adjust to the world around her. A blurry world, all greys and muted colours. Another world she doesn't belong to. More instincts for her to squash and fight. Everything should be so simple here. A singular process, thoughts filtering through and unbiased mind but there's still an empty hole in the pit of her stomach. She can still feel her anger pulling at the edges. There is no escape. Not here or there but she knows that if she stays, then she will never have a chance.

"For the last time...Leah! Dinner is ready."

She hears but doesn't listen to a stranger bellowing words about a girl that was never really there in the first place.

There is no Leah. Leah is gone.

...

_174 Missed Calls_

"Honey, please call when you get this message. Just let me know you're okay."

"Leah, your mom is really worried. Call me back, okay?"

"Sis, I know that things have been really hard for you lately and I know you probably just want to get away for a while but I love you, okay? Please believe me. I miss you. Please come back soon and maybe just call so we know that you're okay. I mean it. I really do love you, listen to me, I'm even crying, and I hope you're okay. Love you. Goodbye"

"Leah, you stupid bitch! It's Paul and you're really out of order fucking everybody around like this. Your mom is fucking going out of her fucking mind worrying about you and Seth is worried about you and Jacob is worried about you and...everyone else is worried about you. Even I'm worried about you. Just come home okay."

Uh, hi. It's Jared. I know you probably just want to be left alone and everything but your mom is going nuts here. Call me and we can talk, okay? We used to be friends remember, back when we were kids and yeah, I know things aren't that great between us anymore but we can figure things out. Just call me and we can talk. Please."

.Oh god, Leah. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Come home and we can talk about this. If this is about the wedding and being my bridesmaid then it doesn't matter. I'll ask someone else, okay? Please call your mom. Just let her know that you're okay. We're all really worried about you.

.It's Sam, Leah. You shouldn't have just run off like that. Why didn't you talk to me, or any of us? Please, call me. I'll come pick you up and we can talk and just try to find some way of making things better. No one is angry at you, I promise. We're all just worried about you. Please,_ please _call me.

Okay, it's Jacob again. It's been like, three weeks now since you left and you don't seem to have gotten my seven hundred other messages so I don't even know why I'm bothering. So, it's midnight here. I've just gotten back from a run. Uh, Seth and your mom are okay. I mean, they're worried about you but I'm keeping...

Sorry, got cut off. I'm keeping an eye on them for you. It's weird not knowing where you are coz you've always just been there, you know? You've always been around. Anyway, it's pointless asking but please call me. I won't tell anyone. I'd just like to know that you haven't been eaten by a leech, you being my favorite beta and all...uh, okay. I miss you. _Really_. Speak to you soon Leah...

Leah, this has gone on long enough. As your Alpha, I order you to come home right now. You're making everyone sick with worry. Your mom has even had Charlie Swan out looking for you. Come home. That's an order.

This is Jacob. I, uh, order you to come back to La Push...please.

...

It has been 6 months since Leah disappeared off the face of the earth.

On a clear night, moon twinkling in the sky. Jacob wonders where she is right now, whether she still runs or whether she has managed to settle down and stop phasing.

On a dark night, when the sky is stormy, he wonders if maybe they have gotten it all wrong. Maybe she didn't leave. What if her body is lying cold in the ground somewhere, venom frozen in her veins?

Would she be a skeleton by now? He never really paid much attention in biology class but he can't imagine Leah that way. Rotting, decomposing...dead.

He can't _bear_ to think of her that way.

Sam and Emily are getting married tomorrow. It has only been six months but their happily ever after can't wait. Jacob knows it is probably unfair to expect them to put their lives on hold for Leah, but he has. Seth has. Hell, even Paul seems to be saving his best insults for when she gets back and sometimes, he'll catch Jared looking around after phasing as if he is realising that something is missing.

They all seem to be drifting by. _Waiting._

It is the not knowing that is worse. What are they doing? Waiting for their friend, their sister, to come home...or mourning a corpse?

How can they rest until they know?

...


	6. Canon

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Pablo Neruda.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, __I love you simply, without problems or pride: _

_I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you~_

* * *

** Canon**

Sam Uley's father was a deadbeat loser, everybody knew that. He had left his wife broken hearted and destroyed. His son without a father to look up to and learn from but then maybe some lessons are inherited.

"I promise to love you." _Leah_

"Cherish you." _Leah_

"Through sickness and in health"_ Leah_

It could have been Leah so easily and for a time it was, but now it is Emily. Well, for as long as fate commands it anyway.

"Til death do us part."

_Liar._ Everyone knows he is. Because if some cosmic energy told him to leave Emily and spend the rest of his life with Edward Cullen he would do it. Sam never had it in him to imagine something beyond the legend.

You can't argue with fate. Jacob knows that only too well.

"I take you, Sam Uley..."

_...from my cousin. The girl I grew up with and braided hair with and gossiped about you with. I take you and I'm never giving you back. _

It is twisted when you think about it and until Leah left, he never really did think about it. She would probably be happy to hear that she had gotten through to one of them at least though he knows he is not the only one thinking it. He can see the stony faces trying hard to look happy.

Seth is purposely looking bored, Sue is looking past everything, gaze fixed on a point no one can see. Jared catches his eye and he can see an almost imperceptible understanding of things that they won't even dare to think about.

_This is fucked up. _

It won't stop them loving their own imprints, marrying them, waiting for them because that is the catch. There is always an excuse. Nessie is just a baby, it won't be for a long time that they are together and she can still make her own choices (even though everyone knows she will choose him) and Kim always wanted to be with Jared so how romantic is that? And Paul has really settled down since he has been with Rachel.

You're not supposed to want to get out of it.

The vows finally end and a violin and cello flood the air with sound, sharp and quick. He knows what Sam is thinking and feeling as he leads Emily down the aisle, smile on his face.

He is thinking about that first glimpse of her in her dress, how it made him melt. He is thinking that he has never seen anything so perfect or flawless. His only purpose is to give this woman everything she desires because her wishes and dreams and thoughts are so much more perfect than his own.

That is what Sam Uley is thinking. He is not thinking about his ex-girlfriend, his new wife's cousin, who could be huddling in a doorway somewhere or lying dead in a ditch.

Or scraping pennies off the floor to put clothes on her back while Emily twirls around in her meringue like dress.

And as they head over to the hall and tuck in to the feast laid out, he is certainly not thinking about Leah; probably starving, queuing at soup kitchens in order to get a meal that isn't raw from the nearest forest.

"Congratulations man. Been a long time coming."

Friends and family chime in, thick and fast with words of celebration. Seth sits in silence, not even bothering to try and raise a smile. The booze at their table seems to be disappearing real fast.

Sam stands up to make his toast and Jacob tunes out, catching only bits and pieces. He imagines Leah, sitting next to her new husband, smiling like she hasn't smiled in a long time. She might have changed her name, settled down, fell in love.

"...my beautiful wife. We're so glad you all could make it. We just wished all our loved ones who can't be-here today could share this moment with us."

Emily dabs at her eyes, mouth tight._ How do you sleep at night?_ He wonders, genuinely. He knows she feels guilty but how does she justify it when 'it's fate' doesn't seem a good enough answer?

Sam smiles down at her softly. Jacob picked up a fleeting thought last week about how amazed Sam was at Emily's capacity for forgiveness, considering Leah's disappearance had soured their wedding plans.

_I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, _Sam had apologised.

Jacob had only just managed to keep from knocking him cold.

...

"Oh, hi Jake."

He is leaning over the railing, stomach swirling sick with booze and thoughts and... _everything._

Emily laughs and stumbles over to him, a little unsteady on her feet. "It's all so lovely, isn't it?"

He nods. She probably won't remember any of it in the morning if she doesn't slow down on the champagne.

She looks at him thoughtfully and takes his hands in her own. "How are you, Jacob? How are you really?"

She cares, he knows she does. Emily isn't wicked at heart. She is not a bitch who tramples all over everyone's dreams for the fun of it. Her decision was weak, sure and selfish but she has a lot of empathy in her, a lot of care and affection.

Sometimes that makes what she did so much worse.

"I'm fine," he says, trying to sound convincing enough that she'll leave him alone. She doesn't push but he knows she doesn't believe him.

"Billy says you've haven't been sleeping too good?"

_Have you?_ Out loud he says; "Don't worry, Emily. I'm okay, I promise."

He is lying through his teeth, of course but then...she is not one to be throwing stones .

That perks her up a little and he wonders how she can still believe in promises when she has broken so many of her own.

Emily turns as Sam slides the glass doors open. Jacob doesn't bother and he won't for the next few seconds when they eat each others face off not caring who is watching.

He can remember many days of sitting around the kitchen table, Leah wincing as she tried to ignore their sick little routine. From scars to lips and all the way back again. It never changes.

"You're missing the fun." Sam says and Emily winds her arms around his back and sighs.

"I was feeling a little light-headed."

Jacob pushes away from the railing. "I'm gonna head back in. See you later."

He knows they will talk about him when he has gone.

"He still won't talk about it...,"

"Sssh, honey. Don't think about it now. Not today."

Of course she doesn't want that. His pain hurts her too. There is a metallic thud and he can just picture Sam, draped over the railings, Emily's hand on his back comfortingly. They are not even two halves of each other. Soulmate is too subtle a word to describe their connection.

They exist as one. Jacob can remember learning about a female spider or mantis or something, that ate their mates up and he thinks, that fits. That is Sam, that is Jared and Paul and Quil...that is him.

Gone. Swallowed whole by their imprints.

"It's been six months, Em and no one has heard _anything._ I mean, where is she? She can't have stopped phasing, you don't get that control for years."

There is a pause as his wife gathers her courage to speak. "Maybe, she's...,"

She can't bring herself to say it and Jacob knows that Sam will feel that as a physical pain. His first thought wont be about the words Emily can't say, just about how much it hurts that his imprint can't say them.

"She's not!" and then "She can't be," said more quietly and so much more desperately. Another sigh."Jake is taking it bad."

"They _were_ friends...," And there is a tiny, tiny uncertainty there. He knows Emily isn't really bothered about the doubts surrounding his and Leah's relationship. The rumors are nothing but a product of bored minds and small town gossip but a tiny part of her has to care about what it will mean for imprinting if it does prove true.

Sam sighs. "I'm worried about him. Billy says he's not eating properly, that he barely sleeps. He just spends all of his time patrolling and reading news reports. He's going to make himself sick."

"God, Sam. Why would she just leave? She seemed fine. It doesn't make sense." Her voice catches and he can hear the rustle of clothing and knows that Sam is holding her close to him maybe stroking her hair.

"She's dead isn't she?"

Sam doesn't reply but Jacob can hear him muttering nonsense in her ear, shushing her and trying to ease her worries.

It draws a sneer from Jacob because the answer is clear to him at least. Leah Clearwater was in trouble the moment those two weak, spineless idiots promised to love her forever.

_That_ was written in the stars.

...


	7. The Games We Played

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Luis Bunuel.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~If we could only find the courage to leave our destiny to chance..._

_then we might be closer to the sort of happiness that comes with innocence~_

* * *

**The Games We Played**

History has more meaning behind it than some people realise. There is a lot that can be said for the familiar but sometimes, familiarity breeds complacency. Jacob can rack his brains for hours, weeks and months and still can't remember a time when Leah Clearwater wasn't _there. _His memories are full of Clearwaters and Arteras and Embry Call. Even Sam, who he was never particularly friendly with before he phased, was a known and familiar face. There are so few tribes left. How awful that it takes one of them to leave for Jacob to truly understand what being part of a community really means.

So many memories of games and stories and poems.

_There once was a little girl_

Anyone watching the pack over the last year would have been surprised to know that Jacob and Leah had grown up together.

All the families on the Rez had been pretty close but the Clearwaters and Blacks especially. Billy Black, Harry Clearwater and Charlie Swan had been known locally as the Three Musketeers. They had met when Billy and Harry had crashed a dance at Charlie's high school and became firm friends.

"We've known each other forever," Leah had told him once, almost begging him not to give up on the Pack, give up on her.

She wasn't being dramatic either. It was the truth.

Summers were spent in one backyard or another, running around with toy guns and barbie dolls. Leah, Rachel and Rebecca were reportedly over the moon when Jacob came along and they had a shiny new toy to add to their games.

_Who had a little curl_

There was never any money for trips to the zoo or the movies but who needed that? They had their own beach right outside and the corner store had started selling ice cream and everyone knew that if you were bored, there was always a game to be played in the Clearwaters backyard.

"You'll spoil that girl. She already daydreams too much," Harry's mother had told him once. "It's not healthy to be wrapped up in fairytales so much. One day she'll get her heart broken."

Harry had waved her off and finished wrapping the book he had picked up from Port Angeles ready to give to Leah when she and Sue got back from the store.

Jacob, six years old, had sat in front of the TV, trying to be as small and quiet as a mouse. Bess Clearwater was a notoriously grumpy old cow who interfered and gossiped til the day she died, peacefully in bed at the age of 74.

Who would have thought she would turn out to be such a prophet?

_Right in the middle of her forehead_

Leah loved books. She devoured them, absorbed them and so every game was a new game. One week the yard would be a fairy kingdom, the next a princess's castle-it was the place to be and everyone found their way there sooner or later; him, his sisters, their cousins...hell even Paul would pull his head out of his comics to come play once in a while.

Sam Uley would join them every weekday, 8-6 while his mother went to work and his father passed out on the couch.

Jared and Jenna Cameron found an escape from their mother's rages in the backyard. She was a hardcore alcoholic and Jacob can remember many a time squashed up against Jared in his tiny single bed while Jenna Evers slept on the couch and their mother slept it off in a jail cell.

That was the way is was. Everybody looked out for each other.

"You're going to be the troll, okay Jacob? You're the princess's best friend and you have to make me laugh."

Sam was always her prince until one day he became her villan and that is where the story started to fall apart...

_When she was good, she was very, very good_

_..._

"Hi, this is Jacob Black. I left a message earlier about your story, the Bombay one? I was just wondering if you had any more information. I'm doing a paper you see on uh, werewolves and it would be great to talk to you about what you think and stuff. Please call me back...,"

Jacob picks up the newspaper, dial tone buzzing in his ear. _Girl turns into wolf. Eats seven, _screams the headline. Leah can barely eat rabbit but he knows the papers can exaggerate sometimes.

"Uh hi. My name is Jacob Black. Carlisle Cullen gave me this number. He said you might be able to help me track someone down..."

Time changes you. Friends grow up and drift apart and sooner or later, you forget. You forget the little girl with the longest, sleekest black hair you have ever seen. You forget her soulful brown eyes and happy smile. The next time you see her she is all muscled steel and cold eyes and a twisted sneer and that is what she becomes because you have let yourself forget. Her femininity is lost beneath baggy vests and torn jeans. Her grace becomes a victim of apathy.

Your memories have faded over the years and now that little girl is as pretend as the fairy princess she used to play.

_Girl turns into wolf_

But don't we all turn in the end?

...

The urge to protect runs through their veins. It moulds them, shapes them. Nature has granted them the power to kill their enemies and the trade is simple. Protect. To protect is their legacy.

"This is everything I have on the wolf girl." The reporter reluctantly hands Jacob a manilla folder stuffed with papers. It is surprising what you can get with a clean suit and a fake FBI badge courtesy of Jasper.

It finally feels like he might be getting somewhere and then he reads it. Reports from Amsterdam, Zurich, Singapore. The Bombay exclusive is dated only a few days before a report filed with animal control in San Diego.

Rife with details that turn his stomach. Alain Cueller, a banker from Mississippi. Coroner's reports stating that he was mauled by a wild animal but they still can't account for the viciousness of the attack, or the state of the body.

Blood spattered snow in the Alps, chunks of flesh but no bodies. Thousands of dollars worth of damage to a freight train in Portland. Congealed blood and an unknown substance discovered at scene. Various headlines with details so similar that they could have been written by the same person.

_Police are running tests, _says the Chronicle.

_Witnesses report seeing a wolf, _from a Indian TV report.

_A witness to the Paris massacre that left six dead has gone missing._

_Police have rubbished reports that a giant wolf is responsible for..._

It can't be her. Leah Clearwater has the same impulse to protect running through her veins. It is in her genetic make up to want to destroy each and every leech she sees. Every cell tingles in the presence of a vampire. Jacob isn't claiming to be a saint. There are times when he has had to reign it in. Being cut off in traffic is a particular risk factor with him and he could have decimated the server at Burger King for his attitude alone but they take great steps to make sure that humans are never caught in the crossfire. You only have to look at Emily to see how bad things can get if they give into the wolf for even a second.

_But when she was bad..._

"Hello Jacob. This is Alistair Weatherstone. Carlisle called me to corroborate your story. I don't have much solid information but I have heard a few rumours of covens disappearing in Belarus and Siberia. At first, we believed it to be a co-ordinated attack by the children of the moon but they also seem unsettled and there have been a few er, murders amongst their kind. A contact of mine has assured me that The Volturi are keeping an eye on the situation so I wouldn't be too worried but please tell Carlisle to remain cautious. These murders seem particularly cruel and vicious.."

_She was horrid. _

_..._


	8. Slow Burn

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to ~unknown~

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~Run your fingers through my soul. _

_For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, _

_perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand~_

* * *

** Slow Burn**

There is no peace in the city, they say. Leah believes that to be a lie. It has nothing to do with your surroundings. You either have a peaceful mind or you don't. Deafening; that is what the sound of silence really is.

She stares up into the city lights until they blind her and she finds a burning respite in electric shades of blue and pink. So beautiful_. _ Not like her dirty little reservation in the backwoods of nowhere or a town so closed and cramped that she was bound to get hurt sooner or later.

Here, it is big and cold and distant even when you don't want it to be and even if you did belong you wouldn't see it. You wouldn't want to reach out and scratch a surface that you know can't be anything but dark and dirty underneath.

Bright lights. False promises.

Beautiful_. _

"You were supposed to be in America."

Leah smiles as she watches lights flicking into shapes that never stay for long. "I got side tracked."

He raises an eyebrow. "Hong Kong?"

One of the first things Leah realised is that there is no countries to people like them, people who have seen the world break and fall apart ten times over. Only cities and place names. They know that the sum of the parts isn't the whole.

Walk into the next city and you'll end up somewhere else altogether. Leah would walk in circles sometimes just to stay here.

"What do you want?" She asks. She hasn't looked at him since he walked up behind her. She doesn't have to. He won't have changed. Nothing about them ever does besides the clothes they're wearing and she's not interested in that.

"He sent me."

Nothing more needs to be said. She takes one desperate glance at the lights, soaking it up because this might be the last time she sees them. This might be the last time she stands here.

_If I die before I wake, let me remember _this.

Her beacon. Her guiding light to a home that doesn't exist anywhere but a feeling inside her gut. Enough to make her close her eyes and breathe.

"Let's go."

...

"The Belarus job was a little...obvious."

She watches clouds pass dispassionately. They don't care where they're going because they exist to drift; drift and weep. She used to be a cloud.

Here it is quiet and private. Just them and a pilot who can't hear past the cockpit.

"Aro wanted to send a message. Killing one wouldn't have been much of a warning."

He eyes her thoughtfully and turns his head. "And the Siberians?"

"I was on a roll."

The plane jolts a little but neither of them flicker. Their death is fire and venom and creatures that can bite through steel with their teeth. Not planes or bullets or falling.

_Close your eyes and jump. _

Who wouldn't jump if they knew they would bounce right back up?

He sighs disapprovingly and folds his newspaper. A sophisticated savage, that is what he looks like. Tailored coat, Italian wool, shiny leather shoes. All set for the garbage bin after he gets his dinner on them. Blood is hard to wash out.

So, so hard.

"You shouldn't be reckless."

Leah has already stopped listening. Demetri has never understood and it is probably unfair to ask him to. His beast commands blood, hers asks for so much more.

"Felix is also home."

She wishes Felix was here right now because Felix never scolds. He laughs and smiles at death and misery. She doesn't reply either though she does note the ever present disapproval. Demetri does that so well. The perfect foil to his uneducated, unsophisticated friend.

"Sleep, you look tired."

She fixes him with a blank stare. "At least I don't look dead."

He doesn't laugh, he doesn't smile. Demetri rarely does either because he knows what she is quickly learning.

The dead only move in nightmares.

...

They approach Volterra while the sun is still high and Leah's eyes are sore and sticky from fractured sleep. One of the pets waits for them, heart pulsing rapidly with nervous tension and excitement.

"Biorno. Welcome back."

Demetri smiles at her and charmingly bends his head to kiss the back of her hand. Will she giggle and twitter so happily when he bends his head to her neck and sucks the very life out of her?

"Did you bring my jacket?"

The woman pauses and her eyes flicker desperately as she searches for an answer that won't end in her death. "You didn't...I didn't know, I'm so sorry."

Leah looks blankly at her and Demetri's mouth tightens as the pet falls over herself trying to find a solution to an incident that she had no way of foreseeing. She is beautiful by human standards; all flowing red hair and green eyes. Her accent holds hints of Northern English, twisted to sound cultured and proper.

Leah brushes past her, shoulder to shoulder and slides into the limo. She listens as Demetri tries to calm the frantic pet and she knows she won't make it past the next stage. Demetri won't allow her to. He despises weakness and fear and he outright hates sycophants.

He joins her not a moment later, jaw set. "You don't need a jacket."

Leah smiles and flips open a pair of sunglasses. "I know but it's always fun to see them flapping. They're like little goldfish out of their bowl."

_Way out their depth. _

Demetri's mouth turns at the corner. It's hard to tell whether it is a grimace or a smirk. "I'm very much going to enjoy eating her."

Electricity lights Leah's nerves as she imagines it. _She knows the risk, _she repeats like a silent mantra. _She's asking for it._

...

The city is beautiful but there is a stillness and honesty to it that Leah doesn't like. It promises history and culture and creatures that shouldn't exist hiding right under your bed and it delivers.

She hates Prague for the same reason.

"Welcome home," Mariana chirps from the front desk.

Demetri gives her the standard charm offensive that all are instructed to do when dealing with pets. Only Leah and Jane are stubborn enough to ignore this edict.

"I'm going to freshen up. Bring me some towels and a bottle of water," Leah says before stalking off. She will not waste her time talking to a dead woman walking.

...

Her suite is bathed in sunshine, highlighting gold gildings and precious stones. Aro has made good on his promise to give her every luxury, forcing her to think of something even grander to serve as a testament to his affection. He hardly has to try. His excitement and commitment to having her join his gallery of rare and beautiful creatures is almost enough and his trust has been repaid in full. She is well aware that she is every bit as brilliant as he wanted her to be and far more so than he expected.

Leah hears footsteps, dull under the pounding of shower water, and she knows who they belong to. She will find him sitting on the lounge chaise she never bothers with and flicking through a high fashion magazine that she uses as a catalogue for clothes she can hardly bring herself to wear.

Today he is murmuring to himself about which models look most edible.

The inevitable will happen and tomorrow, she will catch Demetri, watching her curiously and disapprovingly as she eats her breakfast. She will tell herself that it must not be appetizing for him to watch her eat but she knows that won't be the case.

He does not feel. He does not care. He is a vampire in every sense of the word and so he sees Leah Clearwater exactly for what she is. _Untouchable._ Demetri is the rock she clings to when she everything she thought she knew feels like water between her fingers.

Hair drips down her back as she steps from the bathroom and moves towards her dressing room. She can practically feel Felix's eyes on her, red with blood and roving over her naked body.

He is the fire she will happily burn in.

"Shouldn't you be off ravishing virgins or something?"

He takes the brush from her hands and pulls it through wet hair. "I got bored of virgins years ago. They have no imagination."

He catches her eye in the mirror, wicked grin on his face. His mammoth form dwarfs her and he is one of a handful of people who have her beat in height. Crimson deep eyes glitter in amusement as she ducks away from the hairbrush and buries her nose in his chest. He smells like a corpse doused in the sweetest perfume and decorated with the ripest fruit to try and hide the rot.

He is decaying and she is frozen so that makes it okay, doesn't it?

She sips from the glass of water, delivered to her room while she showered. Felix takes it from her when she is finished glass shattering between his fingers as her hands find his chest. Water hits the carpet like raindrops.

"Hope you weren't looking forward to that one," he says, smirk on his face though his eyes are cloudy.

"Yes. Now my whole night is ruined."

Cheap, cheap banter. A prelude that they always fall in to.

"I can think of something else to entertain you." Felix never disappoints.

"Well, I'm busy tonight." And Leah _always _changes her mind.

She pushes away from him and gathers her clothes. He pulls her back.

"Yes, busy with me."

Leah feels cold hands on her waist, a hard body pressed behind her. She feels it like muscle under soft skin. It always surprises her how human they feel.

His grip is tight. Sometimes she struggles until she's pinned underneath him and just gives way with a grin. Other nights she falls into it but she never says no. He tells her that he wants her, he wants to feel her, take her, have her.

She hates him enough that she lets him.

...


	9. Momentum

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Tom Stoppard.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, _

_with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, _

_and a presumption that once our eyes watered.~_

* * *

**Momentum**

There are some instincts even Leah can't deny and then there are some things she simply doesn't want to. Aro was born at a time when the Romans ruled and epic battles were fought on a daily basis. To him, she is the equivalent of a newborn baby, growing stronger and more powerful each day but still floundering in comparison.

"You wanted to talk to me? Is it about the feeding cages?"

Her tone is quiet and respectful as always. Even when he drives her to anger, all she does is sulk petulantly.

"The feeding cages! What a marvellous idea! We have enough to sustain us and the crime rate in Italy has dropped by 43 percent. I read that in the newspaper this morning!"

Leah shrugs. "Not a lot of people miss rapists and murderers, and the crime rate should drop even further when Afton brings the next batch in."

"How benevolent of us," he says with a challenging smile. It won't work. She refuses to be drawn into one of their usual long discussions.

"It's _smart._ Helps you keep your secrecy and helps me keep my sanity. That's all. Nothing else matters."

Aro shushes her witha raised palm. "Come, take a seat. Tell me about your trip. You know how much I look forward to hearing about your adventures."

She knows it is true. She has been subjected to many long discussions about herself, how she feels, what she thinks. It draws a smile. Nobody has cared that much about her in a long time.

She inhales wearily and props her feet on the glass table only to remove them sheepishly when he smiles a warning at her. He is particular about his antiques.

"Demetri made it sound like it was something specific...like a job."

Aro smooths his hand over an oak dresser that once belonged to Anne of Cleves. They are currently in one of the sitting rooms, perhaps the grandest room in the castle. It is the epitome of opulence; sofas swathed in splendid fabric that once covered Queens and Empresses as they slept, expensive art hung on the walls. The sheer luxury of it never fails to take her breath away. "So, is there a job?"

Aro picks up a dagger and turns it over in his palms. He sits across from her, eyes still on the weapon in his hands. "So impatient...yes there is a job but let us talk first. Did you have fun with Felix?" There is a teasing note to his voice and the skin around his mouth crinkles like paper as he smiles. It hints at a fragility that Leah knows doesn't exist. There is a reason why The Volturi are in charge and why Aro, out of them all, is their voice. She thinks he might have been a warrior in his human years. He has the broad shoulders and proud stance of a Roman solider. She can almost imagine him charging into battle, dark curls streaming behind him, broad sword raised high, a fierce war cry. Objectively, she knows he is handsome despite the desiccation that centuries of idleness has allowed to creep in, but to her he is the chuckling old grandfather who gives her candy when she is obedient and praises her spirit when she is not.

"Plenty of fun." The corner of her mouth curves in a smile. Aro doesn't disapprove. He never disapproves of anything she does. Her every wish is granted, her every request is accepted because she is his_ most_ precious. There are nine telepaths that The Volturi know about. Six psychics, Eleven shields, Four hybrids. There are vampires and werewolves in abundance but only one of her. They've scoured every jungle, every desert, every city and she is still alone. He smiles as though she is a child that humors him. The curse of being first born must have some privileges.

"Has he ever told you the story of when we tracked a coven during the Boxer Rebellion?"

She feels a tug of apprehension as she answers his question. "No, he hasn't."

"So messy, and very difficult, as I'm sure you know. China is a vast landscape. Where was it that you were before you came to us?"

"Shanghai." She tries to deny the stirrings of a conflict of interest. Aro already knows the answer. His question is used as a segue to a bigger point.

"You learned many helpful skills there. Skills that will be very helpful for this purpose and that is why I must ask this of you, though it pains me to do so."

He pauses for another long moment and she can see genuine affection and care in the way he rubs the bridge of his nose. Some habits never die because some comforts never wane.

"Is this about the werewolf that Jane was tracking? I thought he was dead already? Is she still in Beijing?"

Sasha Petrovsky. An infected werewolf who cropped up on their radar last month for attempting to form a pack. Leah has never had a run in with that one but from her experience with werewolves she doesn't envy Jane her task. They are as far apart from her species as vampires are from humans. The infection renders them devoid of compassion and empathy and that is just in their human forms. As wolves they are driven solely by the instinct to kill and feed.

"No, no. Not a werewolf." He grimaces, perhaps sharing her memory of the one and only time a werewolf managed to get its fangs into her. She was delirious for three days straight. She can't quite forget Chelsea, the bite area bubbling away like acid. Toxic werewolf blood simmering through cold, dead veins until twelve hours later she was gone. Ceased to exist. Leah had filed the information away just in case.

"I called her home two days ago."

What could be important enough that Aro would give the rogue mongrel a pass?

He sighs and lowers his eyes, genuinely disappointed as he says; "It is the Cullens. Young Bella has slipped. There were witnesses."

Leah would rather not be surprised at the information but she honestly is. Everybody had been so sure that Bella's instincts were diluted enough that she posed very little threat to humans.

She can't help but wonder how Jacob or Sam twisted the treaty enough that she is not already dead. Maybe they just outright ignored it. Maybe it was only ever Leah who had to play by the rules and accept shit just because it was tradition or duty.

"The witnesses...?" She asks through gritted teeth. Could be someone she knows, someone she went to school with, grew up with. Dead because of Bella Swan's stupidity. There are some things even vampirism can't cure.

"Dead, regrettably." It is the truth. He does regret it. Senseless murder, he calls it. One that could have been avoided. To him, it is the equivalent of walking into a restaurant and demanding six cows be slaughtered for one steak.

He is convinced that their existence will be revealed to humanity through sloppy feeding habits.

"Some have questioned our ability to regulate the vampire world since the unfortunate incident that took place last time we visited our friends. There have been accusations of favouritism. If we allow Bella's accident to go unpunished then dissent will grow."

Fur prickles beneath Leah's skin. "They'll defend her."

Her family._ Jacob. _

Aro sighs and rubs his palms together. "I am aware but we cannot afford to walk away like we did last time. There can be no exceptions to the rule."

No exceptions_. _Seth immediately springs to mind. Memories of a boy, giggling as she paints his face with her mothers make up. A teenager scowling as she teases him in front of her friends. Her baby brother.

But she doesn't have a brother anymore. She doesn't have anything except a mockery of a family bonded by bloodlust and duty.

No family, no pack, no brother. No brother._ No brother. _

Just obstacles and she will never be that weak again.

"Alice will see us coming."

Aro nods, seemingly pleased with her reply. His eyes are proud and she clings to that look. He is the only one that ever looks at her like that with unfiltered pride and affection. Before him, she had hated her power, her curse. He had shown her the blessing in it. She couldn't let him down, not now.

"She will not see you."

He is right. It is not going to be an easy fight but she will win. She will show him just what she is capable of.

She will show them all.

"When do we leave?"

...


	10. War Wounds

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Opening quote is taken from the song 'I Will Find You' by Clannad. Poem belongs to Robert Frost.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~No Matter where you go I will find you. If it takes a thousand years~_

* * *

**War Wounds**

For some reason that he can't quite pinpoint, Jacob has been watching TV for most of the night. The images blur and go all fuzzy but he never looks away. Why would he? You never know what you will miss if you don't look.

It is hard to sit still when there' is an animal going stir crazy inside of you. _Run, run, run, _it whispers in his ear,_ You'll never find what you're looking for here. Go! _

_Go where_, he wonders.

The picture sharpens though the edges are still fuzzy. He still can't make it out though. Not quite.

"...fifteen year old, Lucy Beckridge, who was found dead last week."

Jacob doesn't even blink. He has already heard this story.

"Jason Stowson, who witnessed the murder has dis...,"

He knows that too.

"And in other news-Leah Clearwater is gone and she's never coming back."

He sits up with a start. This isn't right.

"According to reports, you should really stop looking for her because you'll never find her."

His eyes throb and the room begins to spin around him._ Go!,_ he hears from deep inside._ Just Go!_

"Detectives believe, that none of you ever really gave a shit about her anyway."

His skin prickles and tingles; a sensation that is all too familiar. _Let me go!_ the wolf howls.

And then they are running, with only one destination in mind. Where they are strongest, where they are most comfortable, where they _fit..._that is where you will find them._ Home._

_The woods are lovely, dark and deep._

Jacob pries his eyes open, still sticky with sleep and his heart still beating from the dream. It is not the first like it but they are steadily becoming more and more disturbing and strange. A shrill buzz has him wincing until he brings his fist down on the alarm clock. Daylight burns his eyes but he fights the urge to close them. He might never open them again if he did.

He knows from the instant he wakes that Bella is beside him, watching him sleep. He hasn't been able to hold a proper conversation with her since she tore that poor girl's throat open. Nobody ever thought Bella would lose her grip. She always seemed to be holding on so easily.

He commands his body to turn and the first thing he sees is bloody eyes, crimson just fading into bright red, staring at him intently.

"Anything new?" He asks, trying to sound normal.

Her eyes don't quite meet his. "No. Alice is still trying. This is all my fault," she says. It is all too familiar. Bella has always taken the blame for everything, something Jacob pegged as low self esteem before he realised it was actually self absorption. That is the thing about vampirism. It magnifies everything.

But this time she is right.

"Yeah, it is...but what's done is done." He wishes he could sound more convincing.

She nods uncertainly. "The thirst was just so strong. I felt like I had no choice but to give in to it. Her blood was so different..."

_You never do have a choice, _he thinks bitterly. Sarcastically. _You didn't have a choice in love. In life. _

He wants to tell her that she did have a choice. She just made the wrong ones. She chose to marry Edward, chose to become a vampire, chose to kill Lucy Beckridge but he can't bring himself to do it.

"I think she was my singer," she says thoughtfully.

He knows all about making the wrong decisions.

"They won't back down this time." Bella says, biting her lip. She is new enough that her human quirks haven't been forgotten, even if she would like them to be. Gone are the jeans and t-shirts, replaced by crimson gowns and over the top jewellery. Being a vampire is still romantic to her, even after all the pain and bloodshed.

"No, they wont." Jacob pulls himself up with a sigh. Everything aches. He feels old and so tired that he could just sleep forever.

_But I have promises to keep_

He looks around the spacious bedroom wondering just how he got here. His tiny little cupboard in his messy ramshackle house becomes more and more appealing the longer he is away from it.

If he could go back, would he?

Even after everything he can't answer that question. He wonders what Bella would say if he asked her the same. Is Lucy Beckridge's cold corpse a price worth paying?

They are all liars. Every last one of them. They won't tell the truth because they are not sure enough if it is justified.

Was it worth it, Sam and Emily? Would you do it again, Bella? Aren't you happy that you will have her forever, Edward?

His eyes flicker to the wall littered with maps and paper clippings and news reports. Leah told the truth and look what happened to her.

He throws the covers off before sleep succeeds in pulling him back under. There really aren't enough hours in the day.

"Renesmee has been asking for you," Bella tells him softly. "She would like you to go hunting with her."

The name sends a spike of guilt right through him. For a moment, he almost caves then he remembers the plan. He has been tracking Leah for months, talking to everyone from leeches to gypsies to bog standard criminals. He can't stop now. "I'm busy."

Bella's expression cools but she looks more disappointed than angry. "She misses you. You haven't really been spending much time with her."

It is the truth. He has always wondered what would happen if he ever had to choose between Nessie and one of his pack mates. He has always dreaded the answer too but this isn't the same...or at least that is what he tells himself. Nessie has Bella and Edward. And Rosalie and Jasper, Alice, Emmett, grandparents in the form of Carlisle, Esme and Charlie Swan. And a whole assortment of leeches who will jump to her defence either because she is a Cullen or something they have never seen before.

All Leah ever had was family who couldn't understand her and a group of morons who didn't try to.

"I have things to do."

_And miles to go before I sleep. _

Bella is silent for a moment. She twirls a piece of duvet cover between her fingers. Jacob drops back onto the bed and stares wearily at the ceiling. He knows what is coming and he really doesn't have the energy for it.

"Leah made her choice, Jacob." Even the soft melody of her whisper doesn't ease the bitterness it inspires as her words hit home. There is no anger, it just simply is, and that enrages him even more.

Leah is gone. So what? Lucy is dead. So what? That's life, but not Renesmee, not _ever_. Real life can't come to Renesmee. All she knows is love and blood and pretty dresses. He has to remind himself that Bella is her mother and that is what mother's do. That is what families do.

_Protect._

If only he had really understood that back then.

He has to drag in a few deep breathes to control his temper. "We all make choices, Bella."

Her face contorts in pain and she closes her eyes. He wonders if she will try to defend herself like she did a few moments back. She doesn't. He turns his back and the next sound he hears is the click of the door and a whispered "I'm sorry."

All his anger dissipates with the last syllable. She is sorry, he knows that. He just wishes they would leave him alone and let him be sorry too. Dragging himself over to the mirror, he tries to anticipate what he will see. Every morning, he seems to wake up worse, like another day has succeeded in sucking the life out of him. Leeches don't have anything on stress. Stress will drain you quicker than any bloodsucker could hope.

He can already feel his hair, hanging limp, just a few inches above his shoulders. His chin is sandpaper rough. He is too busy to eat, too busy to sleep, too busy to shave. Too busy to live. That is how it feels sometimes.

Trying to find Leah has drained every bit of life he had him and now he has to try and raise some energy to fight. There is a sinking feeling in his gut that he might not survive this one.

Soon, the Volturi will come for Bella and that is about all any of them know. This time, there won't be any talking their way out of it. Everybody has to play by the rules and Bella has broken the most important of them.

It's not like Jacob gives a shit about the leeches and their ten commandments or whatever but, as a natural born leader himself, even he knows there is only one way this can end. Bloody. The Volturi won't run the risk of turning the vampire community against them. To ignore this misstep would weaken them. Accusations of favouritism would run rife, factions would form, leeches would rebel. There will be feeding in the streets.

All because of Bella.

Or maybe that is unfair. Maybe they are all to blame, him included. The Cullen's live in luxury and turn a blind eye to the fact that people are still dying, blood is still being shed.

And what about him? He saw the guests, he clocked their red eyes but he chose not to see it because they were there to protect Nessie and nothing is more important than Nessie. Not even a million dead. Leah had railed on him for that one. Even Seth had kept his mouth shut as she did and that is about as much a condemnation as anyone could get from him.

His first real test as leader and he had put their morals on the line. He had ruined all their reputations in the eyes of their people. They disrespected their elders and beliefs for his imprint and he didn't even notice as he pissed all over their duty and how did he repay them for their loyalty?

He was ready to turn tail and run, leave them to fight _his _battle alone without their leader.

How dare he?

It is funny how you can wake up one day and realise just how much of a fucked up scumbag you really are. All he can do now is fix it. He has to fix it. That is _all_ he can do.

_And miles to go before I sleep_

_..._


	11. The Call

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit. Quote taken from_ The Call of The Wild_ by Jack London.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~...there was about him a suggestion of lurking ferocity, as though the Wild still lingered in him and the wolf in him merely slept~_

* * *

** The Call**

The mind of the beast is basic. It has to be to combat the erratic surroundings that hyper sensory capacity produces. There is always noise; from soft trickles of water or the low snuffle of a predator seeking prey. Humans would have you believe that at the root of it, there is one basic command. Survive.

They are quite wrong. Jacob has seen a bear sit and view the sunset with no discernible purpose beyond appreciation. He has watched a wolverine cleaning a baby bird after losing her young. Nature is far more complex than anyone can understand; even Jacob who stands with one foot in each world can't begin to comprehend some of the things that happen around him. There are moments, in between the patrols and battles, that Jacob stops cursing the world for his transformation and feels truly humbled that The Creator chose him for this role.

Humans have forgotten how to survive. They build homes and shelters to protect themselves from mother nature whilst never moving from the TV and stuffing their faces with factory produced food.

No one can ever know how the transformation alters you. Not an empath like Jasper or even Edward with his mind reading power. The change goes much deeper than that. Leah used to talk about it, about the instincts she found it hard to ignore.

"I feel like that painting-" she had told him once. "-the one where that guy's face is all re-arranged and in the wrong place. Except, I feel like that was the before, you know. And now all my features are in the right place, and I'm exactly how I was supposed to be and that's the part I fucking hate most because I should be able to feel wrong about it if I want to."

"That makes no sense, he had said. "If it feels right then why complain?"

She had given him a look, right then, that made him feel like a schoolboy asking the most obvious of questions and shook her head like she couldn't bear it. "Because who in their right mind would _want _to belong in our world?"

He hadn't really understood back then preferring to think that she was just being picky and complaining for the sake of it. Now he gets it.

Some people don't want to survive. Not forever anyway. It means more when it can be taken away so quickly. The beast cares first about survival but humans are stupid. They die for love, kill for love and throw themselves out of aeroplanes for fun. They take bullets for strangers and breathe without knowing the importance of it.

They are blissfully ignorant and all the better for it but Jacob wouldn't go back in an instant because Leah was right. "Nothing quite beats the feel of the wind through your fur as you run."

Sometimes he misses Leah so damn much. He wishes he had realised just how clued in she was to all this bullshit.

Edward makes his way through the clearing and offers him an awkward attempt at a comforting smile. "You've obviously never heard her arguing philosophy with Jasper."

Jacob huffs and snuffles the ground. There are rabbit tracks for miles in every direction and he has to actively resist the urge to hunt. The urge to kill Edward is just as strong. It is hard wired into him and still takes some effort to neutralise it when the Cullens are around but it is getting easier.

"_I've heard her arguing with just about everyone else,_" he mutters telepathically.

Edward nods and resumes his standard expression of apathy. He is the only person that Jacob knows who can flit between emotional numbness and tortured angst at the tilt of a hat.

Jacob is pretty sure that he practises in the mirror.

Edward watches a feral kitten tumble from its nest. It hasn't seen enough of the world to be afraid of him yet. Jacob wonders if he is considering using it as an appetizer or cuddling it and telling it how special it is. Either one would be within his nature.

The vampire sets his jaw and refuses to answer _on principle. _He stands straight and proud, hands clasped behind his back. It gives away his age.

"_It kinda makes you seem immature you know, an old man fighting with a teenager over a woman."_

Edward rolls his eyes and after a moment of reflection he shrugs. "It was Bella."

Despite himself, Jacob can't help but think of the Volturi coming over the mountains, ready to lay waste to the entire town if need be.

"Yeah. It's always Bella," he thinks bitterly.

All Edward can do is ignore the truth.

...

For Bella, the leeches have gathered in hordes. Even a hundred years from now the memories of that smell will still turn his stomach. Seth greets him at the door, so moody and different than he used to be.

He knows automatically what is wrong.

"Sam is back."

Jacob only nods. Their brave and honorable leader has returned from stashing the imprints somewhere safe.

"He requires me to guard the west perimeter," Seth says sarcastically. He looks so much like his sister right now. "You know, with me being the youngest and all. Let's forget that I'm almost as tall as him...and only 20lbs lighter. Oh, and the fact that my sister made us complete her own version of boot camp before she'd even let us patrol. Hell, our pack is probably better trained than his but who cares about that? I'm younger so I can sit and twiddle my thumbs instead of doing my _job_."

Jacob takes a moment to digest Seth's rant. The kid has been on hair trigger for months now and he doesn't want to ignite a full scale blow out. "There's only one pack now, Seth. Sam's. We have to work together, it can't be a case of them vs us."

Seth looks disappointed if anything. "I knew you would agree with Sam. Leah might have had a bad temper but at least she was fair. She never would have sidelined any of us for stupid reasons. Maybe if Sam wasn't a sexist douchebag who believed a woman's place was in the kitchen, then she might not have left."

That's not fair and it's not true. Underneath all the hostility Seth probably knows that too but he has been pushing Sam to the limit ever since he realised that Leah wasn't coming back any time soon.

Jacob puts a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Sam sidelined your sister because even underneath the imprinting, he still loved her and didn't want to see her get hurt. Her being a woman was just an excuse."

Seth waters down the agreement that crosses his expression. "She was better than all of us," he half whispers. "She _is_ better than all of us."

All Jacob can do is nod.

As Seth stalks off to call his mother, Jacob can't help but think of how much things have changed. Hearing the way Seth talks sometimes is like watching Leah a few years ago. There is so much bitterness there and he doesn't want that for Seth. He knows Leah wouldn't want that for Seth either, but how can you help someone who has lost nearly everything. Seth insists on taking so much more of the blame than he should. He always tried to be supportive of his sister during her worst moments even if he was quick to voice his disapproval of the way she treated her pack brothers.

One of the Denali sisters, Tanya he thinks though he always gets the two blondes mixed up, joins him and they both watch as Seth disappears down the hall. "He's a sweet boy. He was very kind to Esme before."

"He used to be sweeter," Jacob mutters.

"His sister was the tall girl who refused to come into the house last time we were here?" There is no anger or derision in her voice. She regards him with an elegantly arched eyebrow raised. Her head is tilted lightly as she awaits his answer.

"Yeah, that was Leah," he says, voice rough. Sometimes he resents all the pain her disappearance has caused and other times he wonders how she managed to last as long as she did without getting the hell away from them all. "She's gone now though."

Tanya stares past him thoughtfully. For a moment she seems lost in memory. "Kate ran away from us once. Or she ran away from mother at least. She was only gone for three months, and that is a long minute to a vampire's sense of time. Though once she came back she was happier and more content."

Jacob shakes his head. "Leah doesn't do happy or content."

Tanya doesn't argue or offer empty philosophical words about how everyone will find themselves someday. She smiles and nods and says, "Maybe one day." and then, "I have to talk to you about hunting. Vlad and Stefan are threatening to go out alone and I don't think they can be trusted enough to allow it."

"Fuck!" Jacob says, running his fingers through his hair. It feels dry and stringy. "If they break the treaty then my-uh, _the_ pack will take them down, fight or no fight. That goes for any of you," he adds. He wants to leave no room for argument on the matter. He isn't going to stand back and watch Edward dole out cars for a more convenient killing experience this time.

Tanya taps the floor with a pointed foot and her blank expression shifts into a grimace. "Our presence makes your pack uncomfortable? I understand that. Do you think we like being asked to shake hands and fight alongside murderers. Last time, we were asked to close our eyes and say nothing as they returned reeking of fresh human blood." Her gaze flickers to the ceiling in a way that makes him wonder if she was ever religious in her human life.

Her speech renders Jacob silent for a moment. Most of the leeches are fancy with their words but for the first time, he_ feels_ it. "That won't be happening again," he says firmly.

It really won't .

With another smile, Tanya walks towards the door but not before turning around and giving Jacob one more thing to think about.

"Before she left, Kate told me that she had grown tired of our ways. When she disappeared, I imagined her running around drunk on blood and men. As it turned out, I was wrong."

Jacob takes the bait. "Where was she, what was she doing?"

"In England, protesting for the womens right to vote. She even marched alongside Barbara Bodichon," Tanya says proudly. "When she returned, I asked her why she had bothered. As far as I was concerned, vampires existed outside of human boundaries. We were more powerful than any human man. If we wanted something, we could take it. What did we need to protest for? She scolded me like a child. Told me that honoring humanity meant more than simply deciding not to eat humans. Besides, she told me, I'm still a woman and I should still have the same rights as men, even if I have no need of them."

Then she leaves and Jacob is left remembering his conversation with Leah.

_Who in their right mind would_ want _to belong in our world?_

_..._


	12. Seamless

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to Ernst Hemingway.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~In modern war...you will die like a dog for no good reason~_

* * *

** Seamless**

Night has already fallen in Volterra and Leah sleeps fitfully. Some nights, she wakes with Jane watching her, so still and doll-like that it sends a shiver down her spine. Tonight it is Felix who taps her shoulder and steadies her when she bolts awake.

"You were having a nightmare," he says, an awkward curl to a word he rarely uses. Sleep and everything to do with it is something he probably can't even remember. He holds out a glass of water and she takes it and gulps it down.

Felix speaks in whispers, even when nobody can hear them. He imagines them as doomed lovers caught up in a forbidden romance despite the fact that everyone knows and there is nothing romantic about either of them.

Jane, when it is Jane, says nothing. She simply purses her lips as though angry at Leah for waking and stalks from the room. Nobody else dares to invade her space because she is a wolf and wolves are notoriously territorial and Leah is just notorious.

Felix leans back and brings his legs up onto the bed, boots and all. Leah always tells him not to and he always does it anyway. "Is it the mission?"

"No." Nothing more needs to be said. It is not the mission. It is not this mission, not the last mission and not the one after this either. It goes much, much deeper than that. "My mind is just working overtime."

Felix is easy to lie to because he doesn't particularly care. If he can't eat it, tease it, or sleep with it then it is not enough to hold his interest. He reaches over to brush a strand of sweat damp hair from her cheek but his gesture is too lazy to hold much meaning behind it. He is used to them falling at his feet and Leah has long vowed never to fall again.

"It's a shame you have to keep it so short. I like long hair."

"It used to be shorter," Leah says bitterly, pulling the handful of hair from between his fingers. The ends fall across her chin, the longest she can keep it without it impeding her ability to run.

Felix shrugs and settles his fingertips on her thigh instead. She meets his gaze. His features are stereotypically Italian. Sharp cheekbones, well defined eyes, strong jaw and full lips all ruined by the blood red evidence of his many murder sprees. Lately, the blood running through his walking corpse is the blood of rapists and murderers but Leah knows that doesn't change anything. It doesn't make him better. Man, woman or child; if he needs it he will take it.

Sometimes he regards her as curiously as he would a science project that sightly baffles him. It unnerves her.

"So," She takes a sip of water and clears her throat. "How is Afton doing with production?"

Felix regards her blankly for a moment before speaking. "Very well. Aro has ordered him to procure extra from that prison in Laos. He wants to drain them and put the blood in storage as an emergency supply." With a hint of a smile he continues. "He is taking your pro-life idea very seriously. We're not allowed to drink anything that hasn't been sourced by the Volturi."

Leah shrugs and grins. "Not exactly pro-life though is it? Just pro-innocent life."

"Is anybody really innocent?" He asks. He hasn't outwardly voiced his concerns about her idea though she has learned to pay attention to the little nuances that give him away.

Leah shrugs. "Maybe not, but some people deserve to get their throats torn out more than others."

"And you get to decide who."

The fact that it is said as a statement rather than a question is a solid clue that he is trying to bait her. Their arguments usually end in scuffles of a different kind so he has a vested interest in raising her temper. She is not in the mood tonight. "Privilege of power."

Felix grins. "Or playing God?"

"If I'm a god then I'm a merciful one," she says her voice taking on a dark edge. His line of questioning is beginning to grate.

Felix laughs at her glare. His lips find her neck and he pushes her back into the pillows and plush covers. "Well then, I am your humble servant, here to fulfil your every wish and command."

"Go die," she snarls.

She can feel his laughter rumbling through her.

"I did that years ago," he says.

Then he makes her forget and she thinks that might be his great talent, his special vampire power. He dwarfs her like a eclipse covering the sun and for that moment, nothing exists but darkness.

…

"Are you going to die?"

Jacob shakes his head. It is hard to hide things from Renesmee and he could curse the fact. No child should have to experience the things she has.

"Not if I can help it."

She doesn't seem entirely comforted by that but Jacob doesn't have it in him to make her a promise he might not be able to keep. She carefully moves tiny pieces of furniture around her antique dollhouse and Jacob is reminded of how young she really is. She seems so smart beyond her years sometimes.

"I think Uncle Jasper is having fun," she whispers conspiratorially.

"I bet he is," Jacob agrees. "He's probably the only one who knows what he's doing." He has an underlying respect for the old guy. Jasper is the complete opposite to Edward's poetic and angst ridden ramblings. Edward says a lot without saying much at all but when Jasper speaks, you _feel _it. One word can have a world's worth of meaning behind it. Plus, he knows how to kick serious ass and that is a skill which will always come in handy.

"Mongrel?"

He hears the call from downstairs and rolls his eyes. Barbie bitch really needs to get some new insults. Renesmee shakes her head and grumbles about immaturity.

"Catch you later, Nessie," Jacob says, ruffling her hair and ignoring her horrified protests as she rushes to find a comb.

"What do you want, Fangerella?"

Rosalie's smile is saccharine sweet and loaded with sarcasm in reference to their latest attempt to call a truce. It never works but they try and try again for Renesmee. After a few moments of staring each other out, she has enough and her smile drops.

"There's a meeting in the parlour in about fifteen minutes. No fleas allowed."

"Oh, like I've never heard that one before!" Jacob bellows after her as she stalks off to pull the wings off butterflies or whatever it is that she gets up to. She doesn't so much as glance back. Nothing really bothers Rosalie, not the little things anyway. After the rumors Jacob has heard he can understand why.

…

The army is small compared to last time and he wonders if that bothers Bella even a little. Perhaps they have all gotten tired of fighting other peoples wars or maybe they are on the level and are too caught up in their own battles?

Thy turned up in droves for Nessie but this is an entirely different situation.

With Renesmee it was unfair. It was a government handing down an execution notice based on nothing but their own skewered politics and it frightened their people enough to rebel but Bella...

Bella broke the laws that every vampire has to live by; laws that the Volturi themselves live by. Bella's crime wasn't killing a human, hell, there are only a handful of vampires that don't. She got sloppy about it. She didn't clean up after herself. She put them all at risk of exposure.

Most of them are probably signing off on the death warrant themselves.

Jacob can't walk away because he knows better. He knows that Bella made a mistake, one that she can't ever take back but he knows what it is like to have an out of control animal bubbling away inside you. One quick moment of anger in front of a human and that could have been him in Bella's shoes. It nearly _was_ Sam.

"Aro has a new member, a new toy," Vlad states. His lip is curled distastefully and the action ripples the skin around his mouth. Jacob will never fully understand why they are allowed to be here. They speak of times when vampires fed freely and kept humans as cattle. If they ever even got close to their dream of toppling the Volturi, Jacob will personally hunt them down and take off their heads.

Stefan nods at his companion. "A hell beast, I've heard. He used it massacre a coven in Belarus."

Rosalie rolls her eyes and inspects her manicure. "Fairy-tales. We are in the middle of a war and all we have is fairy-tales."

"There are many things out there that a_ young_ vampire like yourself would know nothing about," Stefan says. There is a thread of condescension in his well spoken tone.

"We need to focus on what we know," Jasper says. "The facts are the only things we should consider."

Carlisle nods. "Jasper is right. We know a little of how the Volturi work but they will be expecting that. We need to be prepared for anything."

It is hard to consider Carlisle and Jasper relationship as that of a father/son though it is one they portray for the sake of appearances. Jasper is Carlisle's equal in everything but age. Only with Jasper can they come up with an efficient plan that will stand any chance of working. Jacob is smart enough to take the backseat to someone who has years of experience on him when it comes to fighting vampires and vampire wars. Stefan and Vlad are not so inclined considering that they have been battling Volturi since the Romans were in charge. The meeting quickly descends into chaos with everybody shouting over each other in effort to have their say. Jacob reaches the point where he might go crazy and decides on a swift exit.

…

The air is cool considering that the sun hasn't set yet. He phases and runs around the perimeter twice just to blow off some steam. Part of him wants to take his pack and run, go off and fight their own battles. He never will. One; Jacob Black can't give up once he has started something and two; he would never leave Renesmee. There is also a niggling recognition that despite everything, he is pretty sure he couldn't turn his back on Bella either. He can't help but remember the girl who tripped over her own feet and made him smile until his face ached.

Lost in memories, he almost misses it. The wind changes direction and brings a recognisable smell that has him skidding to a halt. _A vampire. _

His senses reach trigger point as he automatically begins searching through the catalogue of scents nested in his brain. Strong and bitter. Soft and smoky. A smell he didn't recognise straight off signalled a vampire he had come across but didn't know that well.

He_ t_hrows a mental flare at Edward and any other pack members who are phased. _I think I've found something. Unidentified leech. _After a few minutes of searching, he begins to get the feeling that he is being led and baited. The beast in him flares into full battle mode as he recognises the tactics of a fellow predator.

As he tips back his head and howls his fury into the wind, another scent floods his nostrils and filters into his brain. This one he knows. Strong, earthy, wild.

"Hello Jake...,"

...


	13. Crazed

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.~_

* * *

**Crazed**

His old friend.

After every stone he has turned, every haystack he has searched, here she is. Home at last.

"Hello, Jake."

What he notices first is her expression. The coldness is enough to ice the air around him. Goosebumps pop at his skin, fur prickling beneath them. The beast is waiting for his chance to show.

"Leah?"

He asks because he has to be sure. There is something not quite right about the woman in front of him. She looks the same; tall, bronzed though her hair is a little longer-but there is a predatory contradiction of stillness and restlessness in her eyes.

"No, Mother Theresa," she says.

The sarcasm is familiar but said with more malice and contempt.

"I was hoping we wouldn't run into you today," she says.

Jacob's mind is in overdrive. He finds himself picking up on the most minute and unnecessary things. Her jeans are clean, her hair is sleek and washed.

She doesn't look like someone who has been lost for nearly a year.

"You should phase," she tells him, nodding towards a bush.

He doesn't move because his instinct tell him that she is not safe and can't be trusted. He is so confused.

She sighs dramatically. "Go ahead. No one is going to bite you."

She smiles at her own joke.

Within two minutes he is back on two legs and standing before her. Her eyelids flutter but she hides her shock well. "Gotta be said, Jake, you are really not looking your best."

She expects an answer or at least a reply. He doesn't give either.

"Where have you been?" He asks.

"Italy," she replies.

His blood cools.

"Why?"

Her eyes are black as they search his face. She shrugs. "Why not?"

She begins to pace. "Why should I have to play by the rules? Nobody else does."

Her easy, lazy manner infuriates Jacob. The beast wants her on her back, belly in the air and showing him reverence. He is her Alpha. "Do you know what you've done to your mother? To Seth? What you've put us all through?"

"Tit for tat," Leah mutters bitterly.

He wants to take her in his arms. There is so much emotion in between the words, in the space of the the things that haven't been said. "What have you been doing in Italy?"

She can't hide the defensiveness in her gaze. "You know," she says accusingly. "I told Jane to lay low but she just can't help herself sometimes."

"You? You're part of it?" It is him on his back and begging for mercy now.

Leah kicks at a stone on the ground and watches as it topples over and rolls into the undergrowth. "Part of it? No, I _am_ it. Alain Cueller, Bianca Talvern, the vamps in Belarus-that was all me, baby!"

Her pride is sickening. Jacob feels it as an affront to everything he is and knows. How can she stand it?

"We're supposed to protect them!"

Leah's laugh is sharper than the blade of a knife. "Could you be a bigger hypocrite? Don't you remember last time Dr Cullen's School for Gifted Vampires was in business? What did you think those vamps were eating; happy meals?"

Her words hit bone. He could tell her that things are different now and that they won't ever happen again but that doesn't change the fact that they happened before. People died at the hands of vampires and he did nothing.

Whatever Leah sees in his expression, it amuses her. "I get it," she starts sarcastically. "It's the middle of a war. You need all the help you can get. What's one dead girl, right?"

"Or two dead witnesses?" He snaps back.

"Their blood is on Bella's hands," Leah snarls but he knows he has hit a nerve.

The bushes break behind him and Sam skids to a stop in front of her. His tail drops and he lets out a long, confused whine. The others add their voice to the chorus as they fall in behind him. Seth's tail wags, uncertain and happy, as he eyes his sister and he quickly heads off to change.

"Sam," Leah says through pursed lips. Her annoyance is clear.

He phases in front of her, unaware or unconcerned with his nudity. His gaze shifts between Leah and Jacob. "What's going on?"

"She's working for The Volturi. She's part of the plan to kill Bella." The words feel thick and unnatural on Jacob's tongue.

Sam opens his mouth to speak but is rendered unable to by shock.

Leah seems satisfied as she watches him floundering for the simplest of words. "What's the matter, noble leader? Thought you always had something to say."

"Why?"

She rolls her eyes. "You, of all people, should know why."

"Because of me and Emily?" he shouts. "You're ruining your life over that?"

She reacts to his accusation, back straightening and mouth twisting into a sneer. "Ruining my life? My life has been great-my life has been fucking wonderful. You're not in it for a start!"

Her eyes are bright with hatred and Jacob can see that Sam has no weapon against it. He isn't used to it.

Seth stumbles through the trees, still buttoning up his shorts with shaky hands. "Leah," he says. His voice is weighted with emotion and his grin is confused but he is relieved. So relieved that you can almost taste it.

As he moves towards her, Leah steps back and his hand drops. "Lee—what's wrong? Everything is okay, you're home now."

"This is not my home," she snarls and the force of it has Seth stumbling backwards.

Seth's confusion seems to embolden Leah. She regards all of them with a hard expression and it is almost as though some one has hit the trigger on her emotions as she launches into a diatribe. "Oh, are you fucking shocked? You should be. I was shocked when you shook hands with Sam, congratulated him on his pathetic wedding."

She begins to pace again and her eyes are on the ground now. Jacob is glad for that small mercy.

"Even Daddy patted him on the back. 'Good job, son. You've found a real good one there'. That's what he said."

It seems that Seth has touched a nerve because now, there is no stopping her as each new word fuels her anger. "But you know what the fucking killer was? I wasn't even allowed to be upset or angry. Oh no, you all told me that I had to be happy for Emily even when she didn't give a shit about my happiness."

"Leah, stop!" Sam steps forward. There is both a desperate plea and an attempt at dominance in his voice.

Leah rounds on him. "Wow, I wondered when you would open your big mouth. Always have something to say don't you, Sam? You make them think that you're so fucking noble but you're really just a coward."

Her sneer turns into a cruel grin. "Emily was the easy way out, wasn't she? You couldn't leave her even if you wanted to but in the end, you're just like fucking _daddy!_"

Jacob expects a fight. He expects claws and fangs and bloody fur. It does not happen. Sam looks hollowed out. His shoulders slump and he lets out the most painful sigh that leaves Jacob wondering if he might cry.

He doesn't. It is Seth who makes an attempt to reach her.

"Leah, you're my sister. I love you. It doesn't matter what you've done, just come home. Please!"

Fresh hope springs up in Jacob's gut as he realises that Leah can't quite look Seth in the eye. Her gaze settles past him, beside him, at the ground in front of him. He knows it wont be enough but at least it is something.

"I've been looking for you since you left. I care!" Jacob says.

She rolls her eyes and laughs. Jacob's chest aches. The closer they get the more she moves away and the sad fact is that none of them have ever been able to keep up with her. She is consistent in that at least.

"Doesn't matter," she shrugs. "Bella is going to die and if you're smart, you'll stay out of my way. You won't believe the tricks I've picked up."

Her fingers shimmer and pulse. Light grey fur creeps across her skin, smothering her fingernails as they begin to twist into claws.

"How-," Jacob begins before realising that there is nothing more to be said. How and why are the only thing that matters.

"Magic," Leah says. Her anger has eased. Now she is light and teasing. "This has nothing to do with you. Take my advice and back off. Bella has it coming to her. Only a fool would throw themselves on the sword for that pigeon toed idiot."

"You think you could kill us?" Sam asks. He appears to have discovered his anger. "Your own brother?"

Seth watches her expectantly and she pretend to think about it.

"Uh, yeah," she says sarcastically. "If you get in my way."

She dances backwards on the balls of her feet, an action which belies the defensiveness and caution in her posture. "Give Emily my regards. Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't come to the wedding but I'll definitely be there for her funeral."

Sam can't help but growl but he restrains himself from attacking. Leah is walking a fine line by even mentioning an imprint in this atmosphere but his reaction seems to have amused her.

"I can't wait to dance on both of your graves." Then she is off, quicker than a bullet leaving the rest of them scrambling to phase and take off after her. Not that they find her, they don't even get close. It is almost like she was never there in the first place and Jacob clings to the thread of hope that it might have all been a horrible, horrible dream.

His denial fractures as they replay the meeting for the rest of the pack. Nobody asks why, they know why, and nobody sleeps that night either. They patrol as a full pack, side by side, and howl at the moon together in hopes that their sister might hear them and come home.

...


	14. Compress

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen - Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~The devil can only steal in the dark of a man's ignorance~_

* * *

**Compress**

The Volturi are stationed at a luxury cottage on the outskirts of town. From the outside, it may be described as quaint but the high-tech gadgets and smooth marble bathroom furnishing point to a taste for the more expensive things in life.

Leah isn't really interested in the grandiosity of her surroundings. That novelty wore off long ago when she learned that all she had to do was ask for it and Aro would happily hand it over on a gold gilded plate.

It is in the manner of keeping up appearances that a fire blazes needlessly in the hearth. Nobody there requires the warmth. Instead it is a comfort to them, inspiring memories of a time when there was no electricity or heating. Some of them call it simpler. Others are glad to see the back of it.

Leah isn't as old as them but she knows all about living off the bare necessities. Her friends in Shanghai were all too happy to strip her of everything until she appreciated anything.

"Is there anything you need for tomorrow?" Jane asks, clearly relaying a question from Aro. She dislikes being picked for menial tasks and is more than forthcoming about her feelings.

Leah watches the wood burn as she considers the question. "No."

With a curt nod, Jane leaves.

There is nothing Leah needs to complete her mission. Everything she requires is shooting off sparks underneath her skin. She is a weapon in her own right.

…

It is hard to console Seth and stop him from rushing off. The strongest bond between him and Leah is their human one and human emotion and rationale have never mixed well.

"There must be something we can do. We could talk to her more, try to get her to see sense."

Sixteen years old and he has already lost his father and his sister. Jacob wants to hug him and tell him everything is going to be okay but he can't bring himself to make a promise that he knows is false.

Sam runs a hand through his hair and eyes them all desperately. "She won't listen, she's too far gone."

"Always giving up on her," Jacob can't help but snap.

Perhaps out of shame or weariness, Sam doesn't answer.

"This isn't good," Jasper says. "Leah knows how you work. She knows what to expect from an attack."

"This girl is a werewolf?" Garrett asks.

The two Romanians sputter and start muttering in a language that even Carlisle, who is fluent, seems unable to understand.

"Oh, stop fussing," Rosalie hisses. "She's not a real werewolf. She's just like them." She gestures to Embry and Jared behind her.

That appeases Stefan and Vlad in a way that sets Jacob's hackles on edge because it shouldn't. The mere mention of The Pack should have them trembling in fear. If only their ancestors could see them now-what a joke.

Jacob meets Tanya's gaze and remembers their discussion. How easy it would for her to call him on his hypocrisy with one of his own driven into the arms of the vampire mafia. She nods slightly and turns her eyes back to the group.

"I can't believe she said she would kill Seth," Embry says. "That's BS."

Out of the remaining pack members, he and Quil are the closest to Leah and even that isn't saying much.

"How is Bella?" Carlisle asks as Edward enters the room.

He looks visibly distraught. "Upset."

"This getting us no where," Jasper says. "We need a plan."

Automatically, Seth is on the defensive. "You're not killing her."

"I never said-," the vampire starts.

"You're not killing my sister!" He looks to Jacob who doesn't immediately reply.

His mind is whirling. Leah is dead set on killing them all if she needs to but what if it comes down to killing her? Could he?

"Jacob?" Seth is bordering on hysteria and Edward puts a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"Don't worry, Seth," Jacob says. "It won't come to that. I'll fix this."

Even as he leaves he can feel all their gazes burning into the back of his head.

...

Jacob has been staring out of the window for a few hours when he hears Rosalie's footsteps in the hall. His hearing is acute enough that he can track every click of her heels, every roll of her instep. He knows that the door will open a few seconds before it does and she will slip gracefully, but never softly, through a small gap in the door before closing it quietly enough that it won't draw attention.

"You are a very bad liar," she says.

Jacob ignores her, preferring to ask, "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

She is still the picture of perfection, even with her nose scrunched up and skin stretched in a grimace. "Of course not," she spits in a brittle accusation. "But I'll fight."

He can't help but flinch at the acid in her voice.

"Why do you care anyway?" He asks, defensively. "You never liked her. She was just another dog to you."

Rosalie is often referred to as the 'ice queen' both within her family and outside of it. It is not hard to see why. There is a stillness in every expression and movement that radiates coldness. Each look or word or action is both sharp and fluid at the same time.

"She still is just another dog to me...but we both know that there are reasons for why she is doing this." She folds her arms and straightens her back in a gesture of authority. "Take it from someone a lot older and wiser than you, Jacob. Leah is lost. She's angry. You have two choices; you can either give up on her or give in to her."

"They sound like the same choice to me."

"Well, that depends on how you interpret them," Rosalie says. Then she goes, leaving Jacob with a heavier burden than before because he knows Leah better than Rosalie does. He knows how stubborn and vengeful she can be. She may not give any of them a choice and Jacob has to know whether he can do what needs to be done to protect his pack.

"Fuck," he snarls, running his hand through his hair. When did everything get so messed up? He wants to march downstairs and hand all the responsibility back to Sam but he knows better than that now. Sam is in no state to be leading anybody now and Jacob can't expect anyone to carry his load anymore. It is time for him to man up. Chances are that they wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't wheedled out of his duty like a coward.

There is one pack. There can only ever be one pack and Jacob Black is the Alpha of it...whether he likes that or not.

...

If you go down to La Push beach, dead in the middle of the night, you can see all the stars in the sky. The cottage is isolated and surrounded by enough forest that Leah can tilt her head back and instantly be transported to bonfires on the beach and late night walks with Sam. They snuck out so many times when they were young, it is a wonder that they only got caught a handful.

But Sam is gone..and all Leah has left is a sky full of stars and a stone cold corpse watching her from the trees.

"You might as well come out."

Felix slips from the shadows with a grin. Stalking is one of his favorite games but Leah is a hard target. She is awake to everything around her.

He wordlessly moves to her back and takes hold of her wrists.

"I'm not in the mood," she snarls and Felix falters for a moment, not used to being denied.

"I could change that," he mumbles against her neck and Leah inches away.

"Don't you think that we have better things to think about than you getting your rocks off? It might have escaped your attention but we're fighting a war tomorrow."

Felix shrugs. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Leah likes his apathy; she craves it. She takes a deep breath, releasing it in a sigh and moves against him. Felix is big and broad enough that it is easy enough to disappear into his embrace.

"Sorry," she murmurs. "Just feeling antsy, I guess."

She knows she doesn't have to apologise to get what she wants. Felix never takes anything to heart; he is missing a crucial component for that...but there is so much tension and anticipation swirling in her gut that she is certain she might explode if she doesn't get some kind of release.

Felix pulls away and stares at her thoughtfully. Under his gaze, Leah is suddenly reminded just how much older he is.

"Once it's over it will get easier," he says. It takes her a moment to understand what he is talking about. "I've had to destroy so many of my friends for being traitors and liars. I understand."

If Leah has one pet peeve, being lectured on emotions by vampires is it. "Fuck you!"

She turns her mouth up in a snarl and goes to leave before she is stopped by a cold hand on her upper arm.

"We were just getting to that part," Felix tells her dangerously.

…

"Checkmate"

Kate rolls her eyes and puts a hand on her mate's shoulder. "You can't say you weren't warned."

Jasper, with a hint of a smile on his face after his quietly muttered claim of victory, raises an eyebrow at Garrett as the other man studies the board with a hope of salvaging the game. Eventually, Garrett throws his hands up.

"You win...again."

Jacob envies them for their calm. He wishes he could sit and talk and play games but instead he is bordering on panic. There isn't an inch of territory he hasn't mapped out in his head or a battle scenario he hasn't run through.

If he focuses, he can hear Seth's soft snores from upstairs; dead to the world from the seven shots of horse tranquilizers that will give him an hour' of peace at most. There are times when invulnerability is more of a curse than a blessing.

"Jacob, dear," Esmé says softly. "Sam asked me to let you know that he and Jared have gone to move the imprints to a safe location. He has his cellphone if you need to contact him."

Jacob nods and gestures Bella, who is standing in the doorway, over with a tilt of his head. She moves cautiously and carefully but she needn't worry. The last thing Jacob wants right now is a verbal confrontation.

"How are you doing, Bells?"

"Horrible, but at least I'm alive...so far," she mumbles, both bitter and guilty.

Jacob tries to ignore that. If he is honest, it is easier to be angry with her rather than try to understand what she has done. "You'll be okay. Jasper and Edward are going to and Nessie to the abandoned mines west of our perimeter."

"I've already told them I'm not going."

"Bella-,"

She cuts him off. "You need me, Jacob. I'm useful. You need me to shield you all."

Jacob bites his lip. He knows it isn't going to be easy to convince her. "I know. That's why Aro will expect you to be there. He won't put Jane and Alec into play until he knows you're not. By then, we'll have taken them both out."

Bella shakes her head. "No, I'm not going to hide out while everyone fights my battles for me. This is my fault. I need to fix it."

"Your shield won't do crap against Leah."

Bella is still shaking her head stubbornly. "Then I'll fight Leah."

Jacob allows himself a bitter laugh. "With what? Your newborn strength?"

"Yes, let Leah come at me. With my family on the line, killing me might not be as easy as she thinks it will be."

Jacob wants to leave her with her bravado and the comfort it gives her but he can't. Everybody on the other side will have Bella in their cross hairs. She needs to know what she's up against.

"Leah has spent the last six months at least wiping out_ whole _covens, Bella. She's been with The Volturi for who knows how long. She knows how vampires fight, she has a vampire killing manual downloaded into her fucking brain and your shield won't touch her. The further away from the fight you are the better."

He rolls his shoulders and employs his ace. "Besides, Nessie needs you with her. Do you want her to hide alone? No, she needs her mother."

Jacob can see the conflict warring in Bella's mind. After a moments considerations, she jerks to her feel and says "Fine. I'll run away and hide and hope that my family don't get killed because of me."

Jacob knows it's a guilt trip but in the grand scheme of things, he couldn't care less. "Good, well now that's settled, I can go get some sleep. Jasper will brief you later. I'll teach you a few things in the morning just in case Leah does get to you," he adds softly. Try as he might, he can't forget his old friend.

"Okay," Bella mutters softly. "You should get some sleep, Jacob. You need to be on top form tomorrow. If anything happened to you because of me-,"

"It won't," he reassures her. "We won last time, we can win again."

His words don't comfort either of them. They can both smell the lie. For every ace and advantage they have, The Volturi can match it with thousands of years of experience thrown on top. So far, Jacob has avoided the guessing game; wondering which of his friends he will have to bury or whose face he will see after it is all over but the closer it gets, the more he realises that they will be lucky if even one of them makes it out alive.

...


	15. Deep Cuts

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to William Congreve.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes: **This is the edited version of this story. I do regular updates on my profile page with information about story status; what's being edited, what I've changed, what I'm planning next etc.

* * *

_~Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd,_

_Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd~_

* * *

**Deep Cuts**

It is raining when The Volturi decide to head out. The sky is overcast; miserable clouds and fine rain that falls like bullets. It is not a nice day to die.

Though Leah doesn't plan on doing that anyway. If she clears her mind and focuses, she can just about make out the steady pitter patter of heartbeats from miles away. She can hear a car backfiring on a road too distant for her to see.

She is far, far away from civilisation. All that surrounds her are the trees and the birds and the other inhabitants of the forest..all of them seeking shelter from the rain.

"I'm going ahead," she says, making it clear that she does not want company. Aro seems uncertain for a moment and her expression softens.

"I'll be fine."

He nods and she picks up her pace until she is alone.

After a good twenty minutes of walking, she finds herself in a clearing which is surrounded by trees and brambles. There is a few yards of green grass; more than enough space to stretch out and doze. It is almost like finding paradise in the middle of the ocean. Leah can only wonder if she is having delusions of oasis.

She spins on her heels at the rustling in the trees behind her and sees a large black crow, unfazed and unafraid. Leah has never been a believer in white man superstitions but there is something about knowing that this might possibly be your last day that has a cold feeling settling in her gut.

"Figures," she murmurs and the bird flies away, leaving her to wonder just whose death he was predicting.

…

Jasper Whitlock isn't a man of many words. There is a calmness to him that belies his blood lust. It is hard to ever imagine him as an uncontrollable savage...and frightening to. Jacob, who has no clue about the military besides what he has seen in movies, knows instinctively that Jasper is a good soldier. Over the past few weeks he has seen him map battlegrounds, assign duties and run through tactics until every slight deviation is accounted for.

As doctors research new medical procedures, Jasper keeps up to date with war tactics and military missions. It is the one and only time that Jacob has ever envied Jasper. He seems so sure and certain while Jacob doesn't have a clue. The pack doesn't work from maps and battle plans. They tend to just wing it and let their instincts take over. Jacob knows it isn't good enough. One day their instincts will fail them.

Today might be the day their luck runs out.

"Alice will take Bella and Nessie to the mines. Edward and Sam will lead the first wave of attack. Jacob and I will corner them from the east. Emmett, Quil and Embry will hold position to the west."

Nobody pipes up while Jasper speaks. They take their orders and go. Even Bella who has been particularly whiny about hiding out has given up on trying to convince them.

"Jane and Alec are a main priority. We need to destroy them quickly before they realise Bella isn't with us but that isn't going to be easy. It needs to be a surprise attack."

Jasper finishes his briefing and allows Jacob, who is acting alpha, to take the floor. "Jasper has pretty much covered everything so we're clear on that but I'm calling a pack meet. Be out by the lake in an hour. That's all."

When everyone has left and only he and Jacob remain, Jasper folds his maps and clears his paper and takes a seat. "It's a hard job, being in charge."

"You seem to enjoy it," Jacob replies. "You're good at it."

Jasper smiles. "I've have many years of experience and many mistakes behind me."

Jacob sighs and takes a seat opposite him. "I'd give it back if I could. Leadership isn't my thing. It feels like a weight around my neck."

"Does it?" Jasper asks. He stands up and squeezes Jacob's shoulder in a way that reminds him of his grandfather. "Well, that's how you know you're doing it right."

He picks up his papers and books. "There's no secret to it, Jacob. People are born to it, but it's like any job. You have to learn before you can be any good at it."

"People are going to die today, my friends...and I don't know if I can handle that."

"You will, because what other option do you have? People weaker than you or I face death every day and they deal with it because they learn to accept that it just..._is_. There's no big secret to it. There's no getting around it. All you can do is put up the best fight you've got, honor the fallen and start all over again. Most people are put on this world not knowing what they're here for, no clue as to what their purpose is. You got yours handed to you on a plate, boy. You've sign posts all around you but you want to be lost."

Jasper's words may seem like a lecture but the way he delivers his lessons has Jacob respecting him all the more. There is a clear understanding in his expression that backs up every sentence. His mouth turns in a crooked smile. "If there was ever a time for you to take pride in your duty, today would be it."

Then he leaves and Jacob can hear him chuckling to himself as he walks off down the hall, his lesson to the young departed.

"Jacob, are you in there?" Seth calls. He stalks into the lounge, shoulders back and ready for a confrontation.

"I want to know what we're doing about Leah." He says. Jacob can't help but be a little proud. There is only the slightest caution in his voice and that is the wolf speaking to his Alpha.

Jacob sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "We're going to try and stop her from killing Bella...and the rest of us."

"Leah would never hurt us!" There is a low rumble in the bass notes of Seth's voice. Jacob wonders if he can get away with implementing a 'no growling at the Alpha' order before they leave.

"We can't afford to be blind-sided, Seth. We have to consider every possibility."

Even as he says the words he can tell that they are firing way past the target. Seth is still glaring at him, arms folded, looking so much like his sister that it hurts. "No one is touching my sister. Over my dead body."

Jacob knows he isn't lying. He hopes to god that Leah was bluffing about being willing to hurt Seth because he knows that if it comes down to it, Seth is throwing himself on the sword for a girl who might not even give a shit.

"We're going to try and get her back, Seth. We'll knock her out, lock her up...whatever. But we need to watch our backs. Leah is sick, Seth. She's not thinking straight, we don't know how far she'll go."

Seth's expression crumbles. Jacob feels guilty. His denial is the one thing that has been protecting him from the possibility that his sister might try to take him out today but Jacob needs him strong. He can't have him fighting under delusions that Leah will take one look at him and throw down her weapons, metaphorically speaking.

"Come on," Jacob says, throwing an arm around the younger boy's shoulder. "Let's go do this meeting, we can talk about this there, throw a few ideas around, okay?"

"Okay."

As they head out, Jacob is reminded of Jasper's words. There is no big secret to it. This is his role now and they are his pack. He might not have reached the point where he can take pride in his duty but he will be damned if he is going to lose any of them.

...

"I know how the wolves fight, but most importantly, I know how they think. They'll expect us to believe that they will have Bella front and center, showing off her crappy little shield and keeping Jane and Alec at bay but at least two of those vampires have half a brain cell. Bella doesn't stand a chance. Jane and Alec have hundreds of years on her and her lame ass gift won't stop them from ripping her fucking head off."

Aro holds up a palm before she can continue. "Leah, call me old fashioned but you know how I feel about women cursing. Can you provide us with a, what do they say, PG-13 version of this battle plan?"

"Uh, sorry," Leah mutters, ignoring the smirks and snorting laughter coming from Felix's way. "Bella won't be anywhere near this fight. Edward would rather eat a bunch of kindergarteners_ and_ their puppies before he puts Bella in danger...and I mean that literally. Chances are, they'll have stashed her and the kid away. It will be somewhere close so Edward can grab them if they need to run. There are a few abandoned cottages and mines within that perimeter."

Felix gestures to a map that is spread out on the ground and takes over the briefing. "Leah will go after Bella and the child. Demetri and I will lead the rest of you against the enemy. If, for some reason, they have let Bella fight, I'll sound the call and Leah will join us. Jane and Alec will guard Aro, Caius and Marcus and act as the second wave of attack in case they manage to breach our defences."

Leah scuffs at an area with her shoe. "I'll start with the old Bradbury cottage here, and work my way down to the mines. After I've gotten rid of Bella, I'll come join the rest of you. Do not underestimate the wolves. They're not a skilled as I am but they still know how to fight. It's in their blood. Any questions?"

…

"Do you remember 1926 in Chicago?"

Kate is sprawled out on the floor with her head in Tanya's lap. She closes her eyes as her sister winds her fingers through her hair.

Tanya pauses for a moment, her eyes flicker in search for a long buried memory. "Oh, yes. God, I loved the twenties. No more corsets."

Kate laughs darkly. "Medieval torture devices, more like it."

Tanya stares down at her younger sister, studying features not unlike her own though they are not sisters in the biological sense. She can hardly remember a life without Kate. Losing Irina was hard but if Tanya is honest, and she usually is, Kate has bought her so much joy over the centuries that she isn't sure if she can live without it.

"Wasn't Irina dallying with a french man?"

There is still that dark stab of pain at the mention of her sister's name but it is true that is becomes easier with time. "Yes," Tanya laughs. "And Edward had that awful infatuation with the works of Humbert Wolfe. Remember how he used to recite his poems to us so pretentiously? That was torture!"

Kate dissolves into laughter as more memories begin to take form.

Tanya smiles. Remembering is hard for a vampire. So much gets lost over the centuries. If she had her way, she would keep it all, but the curse of the vampire is loss of reflection. She wishes she could have the same depth of feeling that humans do when they think of times gone by.

"I don't know what you're doing here with me," she says after a while. "You should be spending this night with your husband."

Kate turns her head until she is staring up at her. "I want to be here."

"I'm jealous of you," Tanya admits in a whisper. There is a smile on her face. This is an old game they play.

Kate smiles back and wraps her arms around her sister's waist. "You will find him one day...and I bet that when you do, he'll be the most astoundingly handsome vampire anyone has ever seen." She purses her lips in thought. "But don't tell Garrett I said that."

"I won't." She moves her legs forcing Kate into a sitting position. "Come on, let's find Carmen and Eleazar and see if anything needs doing."

…

As Jacob looks around the pack, gathered together by the oak tree near the lake, he realises that he doesn't know half of them. Sure, he knows their names, what families they come from, what school they went to, who they hang out with- - -but when it comes to the little things, he has no clue. He couldn't tell you what Brady's favorite music is or what Collin's girlfriend is called. The larger the pack has gotten, the less time he has to get to know the new members. He doesn't know which ones hate it, which ones love it and which ones are still scared out of their minds after the transformation.

"I know this is the biggest battle we've ever faced, guys..."

As their Alpha, he feels like he _should_ know everything that makes them tick.

"...and I know that as far as Alphas go, I pretty much suck ass, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that we all get out of this alive and if we don't- - -well, I want you to know that your families, all of the people you love, they'll be taken care of. For as long as we live, we will make sure they're okay."

It is a mercy that he sees no doubt on their faces.

"And if we do survive, I want you to know that things will change. The pack will get stronger, closer. There won't ever be another Leah again. I'm going to make sure that whatever problems we each have, we'll deal with them together."

There is a small hope in the young ones eyes; the guys who don't have older brothers already in the pack or friends among the rest of them. Jacob wants to kick himself for being so blind. It's so easy to get caught up in your own problems.

"If I don't make it, I want you all to remember what I said here today. To be a strong pack, we need to have each other's backs- - not just fighting but through any shit that we might be going through. We didn't listen to Leah, we didn't even try to listen, and this is what happened. This can never happen again. We're brothers; family. It's about time we started acting like it."

...


	16. Fight

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit. Quote is attributed to William Shakespeare.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations****/****Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Notes**: 1. This is the edited version of this story. 2. Sorry updates have been pretty much non existent. I'm now a full time college student plus part time worker so I literally have maybe three hours a week free which I usually end up sleeping through. This story has not been abandoned, it's simply just a case of writing whenever I get a spare minute. Thanks for sticking with me :-)

* * *

_~The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. ~_

* * *

**Fight**

In the last few hours before hell descends on their doorstep, Jacob makes a point of spending time with Nessie. He can't leave, he can't _die_, without saying goodbye. The thought alone is enough to kill him.

He knows it makes him weak.

"You'll save my mother, won't you, My Jacob?"

She is too young and sweet for the truth so he nods and says, "Yes. Don't worry, Nessie. Everything will be okay."

She regards him with such trust and faith. It causes an ache in his heart.

An imprint contradicts everything that an Alpha is supposed to be. Fair, open...unbiased. How can he protect his pack if none of their lives are more important to him than Renesmee's?

He can't think about that now, not while death might be only a few hours away but he knows that if, by some miracle, he survives today, something has got to give. He can't carry on like this anymore.

…

It is the artificial breathing that alerts him to Rosalie's oncoming presence. He really would rather see anybody else. She throws a bag at him.

"Blowtorches, for the clean up, god willing. Jasper needs them in Jared's truck."

He tosses the bag back, putting a little force behind it. "Then get to it."

All it takes is a perfect sneer and one elegantly raised eyebrow to make her dislike clear. Jacob doesn't even need to pay attention to the tells anymore. Rosalie always makes her feelings known.

"I overheard you talking to Seth,"she says. "You lied."

Jacob is confused for a moment. He has had so many conversations with Seth lately that he can't keep track.

"When you told him that no harm would come to Leah?" Rosalie offers, though to say she offers helpfully would be pushing it.

"I think it's amazing how all of a sudden you seem to be fighting Leah's corner." Jacob snaps.

Rosalie snorts and folds her arms. She has a long swan-like neck that makes every action look proud and graceful, and pompous. "Oh, trust me. I'm not adding Leah to my empty list of dogs I like...but I know how it feels to have your life destroyed by men."

"Heart warming."

Rosalie bristles at his sarcasm. "Let's just say you wouldn't understand and leave it at that, shall we?"

Jacob rolls his eyes. "My pleasure."

"It's a shame really," Rosalie says as she leaves the room. "If there is any of you mongrels who don't deserve to lose somebody they love, it's Seth."

"Thought your list was empty?"

She curls her lip and leaves.

...

Jasper is already laying out the last pieces of the plan by the time Jacob has assembled his pack. Everybody has gathered together to receive their final instructions before they make their way over to the main field, buried deep in the woods.

"Alice has already left with Bella and Nessie," Jasper tells the group. "She will make sure they are well hidden and re-group with the rest of us on the main field."

Jacob listens as he outlines plans that he already knows inside out. He adds and compounds on information he deems relevant or specific to his pack but mainly he tries not to confuse them on the plan. As Alpha, he has had more input than any of the others and he feels like the whole weight of the world rests on his shoulders.

"We'll make our way over in the cars...," Jasper continues, "...which we will park up beside the lake before heading to the battlefield on foot. You all have your specific mission briefs. It's important to stick to the plan as much as possible. Jacob, Carlisle and I have calculated all the odds and explored every tactic. This is our best chance of winning, but if the plan falls apart..."

He doesn't need to continue. Everybody knows the drill. If you start to see the major players getting killed off, then you just hit out at anything and hope for the best. Jacob and his pack don't really have that luxury. Their survival depends on how well they work together.

Jacob addresses his pack for what might be the last time. "Right guys, you all know where you're going and what you're doing. Remember, stay in formations, stick to the plan and look out for each other."

From the corner of his eye, he sees Sam, unfamiliar with falling in line. There are no outward signs that he is anything but another member of the pack taking orders from his Alpha, but if Jacob looks close enough, he can see the smallest hint of restlessness and tension.

He turns his eyes back to the rest of his brothers.

"Let's do it."

…

Hallows Cottage is a shade of its former glory. It has been abandoned for years but Leah can still remember it being nicer than this. The walls around her are crumbling and paint peels off in strips from the window frames. It's a shame really. She lost her virginity on the old Persian rug that is rotting in the hallway.

"Bella, come out, come out, wherever you are."

Leah listens for any signs of occupancy. Short breaths, hushed tones, crying...but she hears nothing. This is the third house she has checked. It is looking more and more likely that Edward has Bella stashed away in the mines.

She knows she is not out on the field. Felix hasn't made the call and she can already hear the distant sound of battle if she focuses real hard.

She kicks out at a fallen chair sending wood and damp rot up into the air.

"Bitch," she hisses under her breath. The sooner Bella is dead, the sooner she can get back to the real battle.

Only one more cottage to check.

…

Jacob has never been in a battle before. Not a real one anyway.

He realises this as he tries to regain his breath, electricity crackling over his head. It sends static through his fur.

He takes a brief moment, as he stumbles to his feet, to run an eye over the crowd. Quil is limping slightly, front paw leaving blood tracks as he moves. Embry is struggling to pull himself up from the ground.

Jacob looks around for Seth but he is lost in the crowd. He knows that he can't focus too much on the others. He has to trust that they are strong and smart and know what they are doing. His own hind leg is broken but quickly healing.

"Look out!" Kate shouts a few feet behind him as she sends another bolt his way. He manages to roll clear just in time.

"Impressive," Garrett shouts over to his mate. He receives a wicked smile in reply.

Jacob is only on his feet for a second when a leech tries to blind side him. He turns at just the right moment, managing to snag the parasite's jacket, and tosses him over his shoulder and down onto the grass. The vampire begins to thrash and lash out wildly but with no real result. With Jacob's jaws locked around his neck, there is little chance of escape.

He waits a moment for the leech to still and then cuts through his neck like butter. Blood floods his mouth, turning the hard flesh weak and slushy. He is reminded of eating Play-Doh as a child. It stuck in his teeth and stayed there for days, no matter how many glasses of water his father made him drink.

After ripping the rest of the still twitching leech to shreds, he scatters the dismembered limbs. He will burn with the rest of them but not yet. There isn't time for that yet.

…

Leah can hear them before she sees them.

What a bad choice of hiding place the mines are. Every little sound is amplified, and with her preternatural abilities, Leah hears the scared little flutter of Renesmee's heartbeat like an oncoming freight train.

Bella is as cold and dead as it gets, but every now and then, she will take a sharp breath before remembering that she doesn't need to do so anymore. Human behaviors aren't easily forgotten. Leah likes the poetry of one unnecessary breath signing Bella's death warrant.

"You might as well come out, Bella. I know exactly where you are."

Leah pauses and waits for a reaction. When she gets none, she takes a step towards the sound.

Renesmee's heart beats faster.

"I know you have little Nessie with you," Leah says, sarcastically. "What if I gave you a choice, huh? You come out and I'll leave Nessie where she is, because if I have to come to you, I'm going to rip her to pieces, and I'm going to do it slowly. You might be too much of a coward to take responsibility for what you did to Lucy, but do you have the guts to save your own daughter?"

Dust crumbles around her as she hears the slight screech of rocks being moved.

When Bella appears, her face is twisted in anger. "You stay away from my daughter."

Leah smiles. "It's not her I'm after."

Bella's rage deflates a little as she realises that she is standing right in the middle of the worst case scenario. "Are you going to kill me?" she asks, all faux bravado and mock outrage.

"Yes," Leah replies. "But not just yet. You see, the thing about vampires is that they will always believe their own hype. They tend to be a little...theatrical, shall we say. When you and your friends basically tied The Volturi's hands, you pretty much left them no choice but to come down hard on you the next time one of you fucked up. They took a lot of shit for that you know."

Leah begins to circle Bella as she talks. Admirably, the vampire stands her ground. Unfortunately, her fear betrays her in the form of a little twitch whenever Leah moves from her eye line.

"You should have seen the things that the leeches started doing in protest, or to challenge The Volturi's authority. Sick, sick things." Leah's smile contradicts her words.

"I was protecting my daughter," Bella protests.

"I know. That part I actually understand. In fact, I would probably do the same myself, if I wasn't as dry as the Sahara on the fertility front that is." She gives a little, self-deprecating laugh before her tone turns sarcastic and mocking.. "But it does leave The Volturi in quite a pickle. You're Bella, you see. Brilliant Bella with your one in a million...or should that be four in a million, daughter? And because you're so brilliant and wonderful and unique, Bella, you get to have fitting death."

Bella turns around, confused. Leah could fall over laughing at her.

"You're special, Bella. I know it, you know it, The Volturi knows it. You're so fucking special that to just kill you like any old vampire would be unthinkable. No way!You're special and you deserve a special death."

Leah is pacing as she speaks now, caught up in the moment, arms and hands making grand gestures as she speaks. "Your death should have meaning! It should send a message! Do you know what message The Volturi want to send Bella?"

The atmosphere plummets as Leah's smile and sarcastically placating attitude shift. Bella tenses as she braces herself for impact.

Leah's expression is dark and frightening. There is nothing left of the girl Bella once knew.

"The punishment for fucking with The Volturi is more severe than death."

Her words, their delivery, is ice water down Bella's spine. She inches away from Leah slowly. She is not going to allow herself to be tortured to death within earshot of her baby girl. "I'm sorry," she whispers, feeling that ever familiar lump in the back of her throat.

Leah is unmoved.

She walks towards a nearly cowering Bella and as she moves to grab her, is met with a pile of dust and rocks to her face. She stumbles back, coal burning her throat and stinging her eyes.

"Bitch!" she hisses.

"Nessie, run!" she hears Bella yell as she coughs up dust and shakes herself off. She waits a moment, fighting the urge to take off straight away, and hones in on tracking Nessie's heartbeat and Bella's frantic footsteps.

"Congratulations, you fucking stupid bitch," Leah yells, hoping that Bella is still within earshot. "You've just earned yourself the slowest, most painful fucking death you could ever imagine."

As a route forms in her minds, Leah gives chase.

...


	17. Bleed

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/****Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Note**: This is the edited version of this story.

* * *

_~It will have blood they say; Blood will have blood~_

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Bleeding**

It doesn't take Leah long to catch up with Bella and when she does, the vampire is alone.

"I'll catch up with her," Leah says, simply to be cruel. Hunting down infants isn't a pastime she is particularly interested in.

Bella forgets her fear. Her body infuses with an emotion that Leah will never experience but recognises anyway. Motherly instinct. It will afford Bella a strength and determination she would never otherwise have.

With three simple words, Leah has made this a fight worth having. She can't help but congratulate herself for it.

"I will kill you before I ever let you anywhere near her."

Leah's smile is slow and vicious. "I honestly would like to see you _try_."

…

There is too much werewolf blood in the air. It is suffocating.

Jacob doesn't have time to consider who and where it is coming from. He wants to. He wants to stop the whole thing and take his Pack home, clean them up, tell them he is sorry and never set eyes on another vampire again.

He feels arms around his torso, his hackles rise. Hard flesh gives way under the force of his jaw. Blood slips down his throat and Jacob knows he can never leave it behind. The man in him might see the horror in destruction but the wolf lives for the kill.

"You won't win," the vampire hisses not a second before his head is parted from his neck. His body falls to the ground twitching, hoping that his friends might be able to put him back together before he is burned to ashes. Nobody comes.

Nobody will.

Jacob turns quickly at a sound behind him, instinctively rearing up onto his back legs. He is too slow. Demetri's fist connects with his snout and the sickening crunch of bone rings in his ears. His legs give way and the last thing he sees before the world turns blurry is Emmett barrelling into Demetri.

He won't be admitting it any time soon but Jacob has never been so glad to see a leech before.

As he goes down, he staggers backwards, falling over a branch. For a moment, all he can do is lay there and watch dark clouds spin overhead as his body fails quicker than his skin and bones can knit themselves back together.

"_Just close your eyes, Black. It's okay_." He hears Leah's words as clear as if she were whispering them in his ear. "_Who in their right mind would want to stay here?"_

"_I'm sorry I couldn't help you_," He thinks before peace engulfs him. This is his time to go and he isn't afraid. He lets the transformation take over because he wants his family to have a human body to lay to rest. He closes his eyes and waits.

"Seth!"

The softest drop of water falls onto his cheek. Alice's voice is worried and desperate. Jacob's eyes flicker open as he wills himself back into the world. When he opens his eyes, carnage still surrounds him. Rain begins to fall as he tries to drag himself up, hands grasping at dirt and grass and...something soft. _Wool. Expensive wool. _

It wasn't a branch he had tripped over. He touches the jagged lines of her torn neck. The pendant that Kate had given her during the first world war still rests upon her chest. It is the only thing that is not charred and burned. Her head has rolled into a nearby bush and Jacob knows even before he sees the empty, glassy eyes that it is too late. There is too much damage. She is gone.

He runs his fingers through the soft, strawberry blonde hair before voiding his stomach, bile burning the back of his throat.

He swallows anger and tears and pulls himself onto his feet, already changing as a vampire runs at him head on.

…

If Leah had known just how much fun it would be ripping Bella Swan to shreds, she probably would have done it sooner.

Granted, the vampire puts up a fight, which is admirable and pathetic at the same time.

"Stop," Bella hisses as Leah's hand twists inside her gut. "Please!"

Leah feels her claws puncture something soft and squishy. Not a lung, it's too far down for that. A spray of congealed animal blood settles in the air as Bella starts a fit of hacking coughs.

"I've always found it strange how the vampire body works," Leah says. "On the outside, you're all hard as stone but on the inside...," she pulls back and then slams her fist forward again.

Leah crouches down until she is eye level. "That pain you're feeling? That's blood leaking into your outer structure, trickling down into places that it's not supposed to be. Poetic really, isn't it?"

Bella does nothing but mumble and whine in reply.

Leah pushes deeper and laughs. "Your victims are repeating on you." She tilts her arm upwards and claws through ribcage until she reaches the heart. She squeezes it in her fist and begins pumping. Bella's back arches and she begins writhing and howling in agony.

Leah laughs and smiles darkly. "You know, there's a reason why the heart stops beating. Wouldn't want all that dead blood flooding the system now, would we?"

She stops as Bella's eyes roll back in her head. She pulls her hand from Bella's chest and stands up, using the leech's hair to wipe sticky blood from her hand. Perching on a mossy rock, she watches as Bella's system begins the recovery process. It is not a pretty sight. There is blood leaking from every open hole, draining her life-force.

Leah is the equilibrium. At her hands, they become exactly what they feed upon.

Bella claws at dirt as she brings up another load of clumpy, dead blood. Her back heaves and arches and her eyes are wide with panic. Leah doesn't even need to look her in the eye to see fear, she can smell it.

…

"_We need to pull our ranks tighter. Quil, go and cover Embry. Collin and Brady, keep guard on the west perimeter. Take out anything that gets within a yard of you." _

Jacob glances around until he sees Seth in the distance. His fur is streaked with ground dust and body parts are littered around his feet. The rage that powers his attacks are almost worrying. "_Seth, just keep doing what you're..._"

A sharp and sudden pain overtakes him. His legs fold underneath him and he can hear a chorus of howls in his head. Inside his chest, his heart throbs as though it has taken a direct punch. It lasts for a moment before he grits his teeth and shakes it off. "_What happened?"_

He can feel Brady flinch at the force behind his words but there is a gut wrenching note of panic in his voice.

"_Collin_," is all he says. _"He's been bitten."_

The boy doesn't need to say anymore.

"_Edward!"_ Jacob yells, hoping that the vampire is within range. "_Get Carlisle to Collin quick!"_

Edward appears in his sight line._ "_He's holding off Afton. We can't spare him."

Jacob lets out a snarl that surprises even himself. _"Now!" _

Edward seems to pause at the vicious roar and the threat behind not obeying Jacob's demands, though after a second, he nods and heads off toward Carlisle.

"_Jake!_" Quil is panicked enough that Jacob automatically braces for an attack from behind.

"_Seth has caught wind of the main leeches. He's heading down river._"

Jacob can practically feel frustration bubbling in his throat. He picks up Seth's scent and sets off in a run. "_Seth! What the fuck are you playing at?_"

Seth ignores him for a moment but realising that Jacob is angry enough to issue an Alpha order, he decides to throw his cards on the table. "_I'm doing my job. I thought that's what we were all supposed to be doing." _

"_You can't go alone, they'll rip you to shreds." _

There is no fear inspired by his words. "_I'll take out as many as I can before that happens."_

"_So, this is a suicide mission?" _

Jacob can feel a spark of anger from Seth and he clings to it. It is better than the mindless apathy for a start.

"_Of course it isn't, but they took Leah, they killed Collin. I'm not going to let them destroy any more families." _

Jacob can only hope that he is wrong about Collin, that maybe Carlisle managed to pull a miracle. _"Embry, head off west. Quil, you take east. I'll come up from the north, Seth can take the south point. We'll do this together Seth but it has to be done properly. Alec and Jane will go into attack mode the second they feel something is off. If we're going to get the job done, it needs to be a sneak attack. We need to take out Alec first." _

The human in Seth is too angry too concede at this point but the wolf knows that Jacob is right. _"Okay."_

…

"Do you know what it's like to lose a body part?"

A metallic screech sounds in the air as Leah pulls. She holds up the limb and tosses it to one side. Crouching before Bella, she eyes the jagged stump. The is nothing more satisfying than a writhing, broken mess of a leech begging for mercy.

"Don't be such a baby," Leah says as she grabs Bella by the hair and yanks her head to the side until they are eye to eye. "It's only an arm. You should try having your heart ripped out, now that smarts."

She pushes Bella away, sending her face first into the dirt.

"Where's your white knight now?" She asks, kicking at the heaving, bloody mess on the ground. "He's about half an hour overdue. You should fire him."

Bella mumbles something into the dirt. Leah tilts her head and crouches on the balls of her feet, arms resting on her knees. "Sorry, what? I didn't quite hear that."

Bella turns her head. There is a particularly nasty claw mark down the side of her face. It looks etched into her skin but already Leah can see the sides slowly knitting back together. Rain water trickles down her face, a parody of tears.

"I said, just kill me already. I can't take anymore."

Leah studies her for a moment, eyes blank. Bella's fear gives her away. She's not ready to die yet and that suits Leah just fine. "How do you think Lucy felt?"

"I know, okay? I know how Lucy must have felt. Terrified, alone, horrified! You don't have to tell me! Do you think that I don't know? That I don't think about it every minute of every day?"

Leah smiles. "No, I mean physically. How do you think it must have physically feel to have your throat ripped out?"

Bella stares up at her, confusion turning to resignation as she deciphers Leah's cruel smirk.

Leah tips her head back, feels her mouth stretch as her canines shift. Her gums sting and bleed but at this point, she welcomes it. There is a slight crack as her jaw breaks and enlarges before resetting in this new position. It is agonising, but ultimately worth it.

Bella blinks and begins to heave and retch. Leah can only imagine what she looks like when she smiles right now.

Bella tries to drag herself up from the ground but is flattened into the dirt again as Leah's head swings down like a machete. Her scream dies in her throat as Leah cuts through her vocal chords, chews into muscle and sinew. She imagines a fifteen year old girl between her jaws, crying and dying.

She bites harder.

Bella kicks and fights, she tries but even a vampire's body can be weakened. There is too much damage to be repaired for her to be able to match Leah's strength. If she had put this much effort into fighting back before Leah had started taking her apart, then she might have stood a chance but as it stands, she is just easy pickings. Blood gurgles in Bella's throat as her body works through the healing process.

Leah knows it is coming to an end when it starts to bore her. Bella has been broken and tormented as much as she can. Another ten minutes and she will zone out, find her happy place. Death will be a relief to her by then.

Flesh and blood slip down Leah's throat as she tilts her head to the sky. She gives a deep, satisfied breath. "Well, this has been fun but you can't have me forever. There are other monsters to take of."

She drags Bella underneath the shelter of a tree where the rain can't get at her and takes a Zippo from her jacket pocket. Vampires burn much quicker than humans. Flicking the lid open, she smiles. "I could rip you apart, make it quick for you but I don't think you deserve that mercy. Not after what you did to Lucy."

"I told you I was sorry," Bella says. Her voice is weak and raspy.

Leah strokes her hair back and shushes her in a way that is not intended to be comforting. "Yeah, you did. You told me how bad you felt, how much it haunted you. How tormented you where. See, even at the end, even with a dead girl's blood on your hands, it's still all about _you_.

She sits back on her heels and flicks the lighter on. She tilts her wrist to drop it.

A cold hand stops her.

...


	18. Fade

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/****Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Note**: There will be one more chapter after this one which will serve as an epilogue to this story. Thank you for all your reviews and apologies to anyone who I haven't had a chance to reply to. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave feedback :)

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Fade**

* * *

It takes Leah a second to realise why a cold chill is creeping up her arm. With her wrist still held steady, she spins around enraged.

"I'm not going to let you do that," Rosalie says. Her voice is calm. She pushes Leah back into the dirt.

"Do you really think you can stop me?" Leah snarls, dusting her hands off and pushing herself to her feet. Humiliation takes up root in the deepest pits of her stomach. She isn't used to being pushed around. Not anymore.

Rosalie just smiles. "I've been playing the bitch a lot longer than you have."

The leech exudes regal elegance and measured confidence that sets Leah on edge. Bella is forgotten.

"Oh, really? All this time you've been playing?"

The smile remains.

Leah grabs Bella by the hair and hauls her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her neck.

The smile still doesn't waver.

"I understand," she says. Her voice is a perfect melody that rings in Leah's ears. It makes her want to scream and shake her head.

"I bet you do," Leah snarls, sarcastically. She grits her teeth as her fingernails push through skin and twist into claws. "Do you really think you can stop me? That I'm going to let you just swoop in and save her?"

Rosalie's smile still doesn't flicker. "I'm not her to save _her_."

…

Jacob hits the ground with a thud and he has to force himself to stay down and assess the damage. His broken hind leg is already beginning to heal but he will have to compensate until it does.

The hum of a low laugh hits his eardrums and then Aro is there. Three thousand years of experience, a warrior since birth. Jacob doesn't need telepathy to read his mind. He knows what he is thinking.

Young, stupid, easy _prey_.

With one touch, he could lay Jacob's whole life in front of him; pick it apart piece by piece. Jacob doesn't like that. He doesn't like the thought that someone can so easily tap into the corners of his mind where he hides everything too wrong and painful to think about.

He certainly doesn't like the fact that a vampire looks at him; him with the blood of chiefs running through his veins, with the spirit of the wolf entwined with his own soul, and _ever_ think of him as an obstacle so easily overcome.

In a moment, it all clicks into place. The air shifts; temperature dropping. The rain explodes as it hits his skin. The background noise becomes dull and distant.

Jacob inhales.

His brain picks out every flaw, every weakness, every opening. He catalogues Aro's scent. He tracks the rainfall, he maps the ground he is standing on. He makes note of every damp patch, fallen branch, rock; every single little thing that might trip him up or get in his way.

Jacob exhales.

He gets it. _Nothing quite beats the feel of the wind through your fur as you run._

Fire sparks through his veins as he pushes himself up off the ground.

…

The silence of the clearing is disrupted by the sound of Bella's painful whimpering and Leah's deep, irritated breathing. She still has her arm clamped around the vampire's neck, dragging her along as she paces.

Rosalie remains still. Morbidly serene. "If you kill her, there will be no way back for you. All anybody will remember is this."

"What makes you think I want to go back?" Leah doesn't wait for an answer. "What makes you think that you can stop me?"

"I understand," Rosalie says.

"Fuck...not this again." Leah snaps.

Rosalie's smile drops for the first time. "I understand what it feels like to lose everything."

Leah features twist and her body shakes with the force of the growl that tears from her throat. She slams her fist into Bella's back and straight into her spine, tossing her aside as she goes limp. Considering the rest of the damage, Bella won't be going anywhere for a while.

"I am not going to be talked down by a fucking leech!" She launches herself at Rosalie who calmly sidesteps at the second before impact, sending Leah sprawling into the dirt.

"Careful," the vampire says. "You're letting your anger get the better of you."

Leah's head snaps back as she angrily pushes herself to her feet and runs at Rosalie again. She gets in one good shot to the stomach before Rosalie grips her throat and pushes her back into the dirt again.

With one deep, unnecessary breath, the vampire uncurls herself and returns to her proud, regal stance.

Leah tries to focus, she tries to remember her training. Everyone has a weakness. She breathes deep and forces a smile to her face.

"How could you understand?" Leah asks as she stands and brushes herself off. "Your heart doesn't even work. How could you ever know what it feels like to have it broken?"

Rosalie grins and Leah kicks herself as she realises that she has just walked right into the leech's trap. Her self-assurance takes a nose dive. She has to fucking pull it together.

"I know it hurts. It hurts more than you could ever explain." Rosalie says calmly as she sidesteps Leah again, this time shoving her face force into the mountainside.

Leah feels her nose explode on impact. She tries to use the blood as a trigger to focus, re-assess, but as the first drop falls, it only serves to enhance her anger. "I'm going to end you." She snarls, quietly.

"It feels like a knife," Rosalie says, walking slowly towards her. "The way it cuts into you and tears up your insides."

Leah roars and rages and throws herself at the vampire, muscles twitching and shifting. Rosalie brings her hands up and pushes her back with enough force that the tree behind her shakes with the impact.

"And you try to push through it, be normal but the walls just keep falling down on top of you until you can't even feel your own body anymore."

Leah scrambles up as she talks and throws a fist at her face. The vampire ducks and uses Leah's moment of unbalance to grab her under the knee and throw her back into the dirt.

It shouldn't be this way; Leah choking on mud and blood and rain. She is more skilled, better trained that the leech could ever be. Her anger is a low hum through her veins, just on the peak of fear. She can't let it take over. She needs to focus. She needs to block out all the words and focus on the fight.

Rosalie crouches down as Leah coughs blood into the dirt. "You feel like you have an empty hole in your stomach but you don't. It's poison. Thick, rotting poison; but by the time you realise that, it's too late." She catches Leah's fist and turns her arm until she can't bite back the yelp of pain any longer.

"You don't even recognise yourself anymore." Rosalie drags her up by the arm and spins her into the nearest tree. "And nobody cares that you're gone." She slams a flat palm straight against Leah's heart. The impact makes Leah double over but Rosalie drags her upright again. "So it's easier to just become what they think you are."

"I know what it feel like to be betrayed," This times, her hand is fisted as it pierces her chest and makes impact with Leah's heart.

"To get lost in your pain." Another hit.

"To hate the person you see when you look in the mirror." Harder this time.

Leah slumps against the ground, shivering as her body works to repair the damage. Rosalie kneels next to her and crouches down until her mouth is at her ear. "It's okay to hate them."

The words spur Leah into action. "No!" She roars as she lashes out, hands catching in Rosalie's hair. The moment her first blow connects, she feels alive again. Hands clasp around her wrists as Leah lashes out blindly, pummelling at any solid surface she can find.

She won't stop until she is dead.

...

Jacob is a bloody mess by the time his fight with Aro is over. Mangled skin hangs loose from his bones, Muscle and tendons poke through a gash in his torso.

Adrenaline blurs his vision and makes his head all fuzzy but as he looks down at the twitching corpse beside him, into the glassy eyes of a creature so old that he saw the fall of Rome, none of it matters.

His victory seems like both a mockery and a birthright at the same time.

He is doubled over, each breath spraying blood onto the ground in front of him. Jacob knows that the damage he has taken is too severe too heal up quick enough to stand a chance against the next leech who sees him as easy pickings. There is not much fight left in him, but he will be damned if he is going to turn away now.

He urges on his recovering body as he watches Edward finish off whoever was dumb enough to pick a fight with a telepath. The vampire stills and his body goes rigid as he meets Jacob's eyes.

There is no translation needed to know what has caused the panic.

_Bella. _

"Where is Rose?" Emmett calls out as he looks around him. There are few left standing on the battlefield now. Jacob desperately scans the crowd, taking a mental note of every member of his pack that he sees. Quil, Embry, Brady...where is Seth?

It happens in an instant. Emmett follows Edward's gaze, notes the look of panic on his face. He mouths one word.

"Rosalie."

Within a second, he is running.

Jacob and Edward follow, hurling themselves through the trees, taking down any that get in there way. Jacob momentarily wonders who is running for. Emmett is running for Rosalie and Edward for Bella but what is Jacob's purpose?

If either Rose or Bella is dead then Leah will have two irrational and angry vampires to contend with. Jacob wants to be able to walk into that scene, put aside the sight of a dead Bella and be the Alpha that Leah needs him to be but he honestly doesn't know what he will do, how far over the edge he will let himself be pushed.

Does he even have the strength to fight anymore? Maybe he is just running towards the end that he knows he deserves.

Edward and Emmett are too far gone to think clearly and somebody needs to be in control.

Whatever happens, he needs to know that he gave Leah the best chance he could.

So he runs.

…

Rosalie falls like a bag of bricks as Leah hooks her ankle, and sweeps her feet from under her, but she rolls backwards and pulls herself up, smooth and quick. "It makes you sick, the things that you imagine doing to them, doesn't it?"

Leah is quicker, or at least she knows she should be, but her anger is a dead weight around her neck. She lashes out, feeling her muscles throb under her skin, just on the edge of bursting through as she calls upon the wolf's strength to aid her.

Rosalie evades, gliding out of the way, stepping back, just waiting for an opening and every opening she gets, she drives her fist right into Leah's heart. "It torments you, thinking of the pain that you could cause."

The rest of her is left untouched. "How twisted you're becoming. How easy it is to give up on the world."

Leah moves too quickly, steps too far forward. She feels the burn in her chest, the gasp of breath as the rest of her organs panic. _Don't fail me_, she thinks, blinking bloody rainwater from her eyes.

Rosalie clenches her fist and Leah knows that this will be the last one before she is left at the mercy of a leech. She dives to the side just before impact and rolls into a crouch.

Rosalie pauses and in the moment of stillness, Leah can see beyond the mask. Bloody face, rain soaked hair, muddy clothes. Pain; old, buried and still hurting like it is brand new.

Nothing is immortal. Humanity curses them all.

The moon, the stars, even the sun. They are all set to die.

Leah moves with a furious scream and launches herself at Rosalie. They _will _remember her. She will leave her name upon the world, soaked in her own blood if need be.

Rosalie grabs the front of her jacket, ducking unrestrained blows and hissing bitterly when one connects. "All that power... it's the only thing you own." She takes Leah's legs from under her and grabs her by the chin, driving another solid fist into her face. "And it's worth nothing unless you use it. They have to _know_. "

Leah goes wild, aiming blindly, beating the air with an equal measure of anger as that aimed at the vampire in front of her. The wolf in her rages to break free but she denies it. It will betray her, it always does. Everything does.

Rosalie stops pushing. "They don't listen when you talk. So you have to show them." Her fist tightens on the jacket, she pulls Leah towards her and crushes her against her chest in a bear hug. "You have to show them that there' is nothing left worth breaking."

Leah howls furiously, kicking and hitting at anything she can find. Her foot connects with Rosalie's shin and they both go down.

…

Jacob's body is burning.

_Faster_, he tells himself, but his body is dying, putting everything it has into healing his broken bones and failing organs. Both Emmett and Edward are ahead of him. If they get to Leah before he does...

The nerves in his legs protest as he focuses every resource, every ounce of energy on pushing himself beyond his limit. Edward and Emmett disappear into the trees. He runs, sliding to a stop, legs buckling ungracefully as he tries to avoid a collision. Emmett and Edward are frozen in place, and Jacob sidesteps them.

He sees Rosalie first, slumped on the ground, a still body in her arms.

"I understand," she whispers, softly. "Nobody can ever hurt you as much as you can hurt yourself."

Wet, dark hair hangs over one arm and he sees Leah, eyes closed, features tight. Her shoulders are trembling.

The world spins with each breath he takes, everything is so loud.

Trees rustle, rain falls.

And Leah Clearwater cries.

* * *

_~You are never strong enough that you don't need help~_


	19. Epilogue: The End

**Title: **Scream Ferocity

**Summary**: "Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply. Those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they have now set on fire" Leah finally snaps.

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer .This story is produced without profit.

**Characters: **Leah/Jacob/Ensemble

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Family

**Rating**: Older teen- Adult

**Warnings:** Dark themes. Non explicit violence, murder, sex.

**Status**: In Progress.

**Archiving**: Please PM me

**Inspirations/Dedications: **Dedicated to anyone who has ever had feelings.

**Author's Note: **This is the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, read and followed. The authors of both quotes are unknown.

* * *

_~Sometimes what you're looking for is right where you left it~_

* * *

**The End**

**Chapter Nineteen: Congealing.**

The Clearwater home is warm and smells of freshly cooked spaghetti. Jacob takes his place on the beaten up sofa that he used to sit on when he was four years old. Seth is in Harry's old armchair. Sue is standing, bracing herself.

It has become routine, though every night has become every other night.

Jacob waits for Sue to come down the hall, face grim. Every night she shakes her head and says, "I'm sorry. She's not ready."

Jacob always forces a smile, he always nods and leaves. He always manages to squash the impulse to break down her door and demand answers.

Today is the sixth day of the third week.

Jacob can hear Leah breathing from her room down the hall. Each inhalation is soft and steady. She is dozing but not quite asleep.

Sue sighs as she knocks softly upon Leah's door before gently pushing it open. "Sweetheart, Jacob is here again."

There is no answer.

"Honey, it's been three weeks. You said you didn't want to see anyone and he's respected your wishes." Sue says, softly.

Still nothing.

He can hear the moment that Sue gives up, her breath catches in a sigh and the wood of the door creaks as her grip on the handle tightens but she tries to hide her frustration.

It is only when the catch clicks that they both hear Leah whisper, "Okay."

...

Jacob has to switch the light on. Leah's room is in darkness and far too small to risk manoeuvring blind.

Leah is lying on her stomach, cheek pressed into the pillow, duvet underneath her. She is still wearing the dirty, bloody clothes from the battle and even Jacob has to stifle a wince as the smell of stale sweat and mud and blood hits his nostrils. There is a knitted blanket pooling at her ankles and her feet are bare, either her mother or Seth's attempt at making her more comfortable before being shooed out.

She squints as a burst of light floods the room but her eyes remain closed and her breathing stays soft.

He grabs a chair and places it next to the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. Why, he doesn't know but he almost feels like he is walking on eggshells.

"Hi," he says, quietly.

Leah doesn't answer for a while before finally muttering, "Hey." Her eyes remain closed but her face scrunches up as though even talking is painful. Her voice is dry and scratchy.

"How are you doing?" he asks, feeling stupid and awkward. He wishes he could skip forward to the part where everything between them is familiar and normal.

He wishes he knew for sure whether things could ever be the same again.

"Fine," she mutters.

"Bullshit. I know what fine stands for." He can't help the bite in his tone.

Leah is quiet for a moment before she opens one eye. "Wow, didn't take you long for your natural jerk ass personality to shine through as that fake concern shit."

"You know what, fuck you, Leah. I'm tired of pussyfooting around you in case you snap. I'm trying. We're all trying."

She turns her head fully, slightly stunned before a smirk breaks through her expression. "Fuck you right back."

Jacob can't help but smile. "I've missed you."

Leah rolls her eyes but Jacob knows that deep down, it matters.

"You're not fine," he says after a moment. "You look and smell like shit."

She pushes herself up into a sitting position, groaning and moaning so there is no doubt about how much effort it takes. "Well, you really know how to make a girl feel special, Jake."

"I'm serious. Is that a half eaten bagel underneath all that mould?"

Leah sighs. "Is this your tactic? Pissing me off?"

Jacob shakes his head and tries his best to look innocent. "No. I just wanted to talk to you."

The corner of Leah's mouth crooks in a smile. "Isn't that the same thing?"

She bats away the cushion that he flings at her face and holds it to her chest as she dissolves into laughter at his mock outrage.

For a moment they are just two old friends pushing each others buttons, and then Leah's shoulders slump. Her smile falters. The light in her eyes fades.

"Talk to me,"Jacob says, desperate and trying to be stronger than that.

"I killed Collin."

Her voice and expression are so blank that it is frightening.

"The leeches killed Collin," Jacob says quickly, before the pain can take root.

Leah meets his gaze and he can see how off the mark he is. The pain is already there. She is drowning in it.

He moves towards her quickly and wraps her up in his arms before she can protest.

She doesn't. Instead she folds into him and grasps hold of his shirt.

There are no tears. He just holds her as the trembling, restrained anger subsides. Part of him worries that the more she chokes it down, the more chance that someday, they will lose her again. He wishes he was smarter, that he knew what was best for her but he doesn't. He has no clue what way to turn.

All he can do is be there and hope that it's enough.

"It was my fault," she says, determined in her guilt.

As much as he disagrees, Jacob can't bring himself to argue. He blames her for a lot of things he will never admit out loud but not that.

Bella still would have slipped up without Leah.

She feels guilt and he has to let her feel it. Burying her feelings is what led to this mess in the first place. He has to let her face it so she can deal with it on her own terms.

"I don't blame you, Leah. None of us do. We know we fucked up. We know we let you down."

She shakes her head stubbornly. "There's no excuse for what I did."

Her eyes fix on a point past his head as she slips away into memories.

"I thought it would be okay because they didn't matter. They were scum." She sneers at an empty spot beside her as though there is a body at her feet. "I convinced myself that I was doing something good; taking rapists and murderers off the street. How could anyone argue that they didn't deserve to die over innocent people?"

Her eyes meet his. "But it was never about them. You don't understand that until you realise that you don't care about any of them anymore. It's about what it does to you."

Jacob can't find the words to speak. Her tone is so familiar and accepting that it hurts him.

"I can't sleep without seeing their faces. I'm haunted by rapists and killers and child molesters. I don't want to share any space in my head with them but I don't have a choice. It's my own fault. I can't complain about how unfair life is anymore. I dipped my hands into their world and I got dirty."

She shrugs and her expression flattens so hopelessly that Jacob feels it deep in his gut.

"You can get better," Jacob says.

The smile Leah gives him is jaded. "It's the kind of dirt that doesn't wash off, Jacob."

"Well, I don't believe that."

She just smiles bitterly, as though she is party to a secret that she hopes he never learns. He has never felt more naïve and more determined to prove her wrong.

"Who died?"

Her question rips the breath right out of him. "I don't think- - -."

"I'm ready, Jacob," she says softly and firmly. "I need to know."

He takes one deep breath before he makes his decision."Collin, Tom Ateara, Tanya and two of Garrett's friends."

Leah's eyes are closed but Jacob can tell, he knows that every name hits like a brick.

"And the others?" She asks after she composes herself.

Jacob can't help the bitterness that bubbles up in his gut at her questions. He forces it down and tells himself that she needs to know in order to get closure.

"The Volturi are dead. All three." He pauses as he tries to gage her reaction. Her eyes are still closed, shoulders tensed and it tells Jacob everything he needs to know. "Talk to me, Leah."

It is not a request.

"Aro was good to me," is all that she offers.

He watches her carefully as he resumes his list. "The bodyguards died pretty early on. The Denali clan gave us the edge on numbers. We got most of them. Jasper got Felix."

Leah swallows hard.

Jacob studies her, his earlier demand hanging in the air between them.

"Felix was good to me too," she says but her statement this time has an entirely different emotion behind it.

Jacob wants to punch the wall but his own guilt restrains him.

"Demetri, Jane, Alec and two others survived. Jasper wants to know what we should expect in the way of reprisals."

Leah sucks in a breath. "Demetri is smart. He won't have decided yet. He doesn't work that way. He'll look at all his options, weigh the odds, make plan on top of plan; if he thinks that we're still a threat he'll kill us."

"Or try to at least."

"No. He understands evolution better than Aro ever did. Aro was traditional and stuck in his ways. Demetri is an honorable man. He'll keep his word at all costs if you're a friend to him, but he won't have any honor towards his enemies."

"So in other words we should plan for an attack?"

Leah shrugs, suddenly weary. "You're asking me? I don't even know what day it is."

Her fingers dance upon the thick woollen blanket left by her mother. "Right now, I would say proceed with caution. There's every chance that Demetri will be more focused on rebuilding The Volturi than giving any of us a second thought, but it never hurts to be safe, does it?"

Jacob nods. "I'll let Jasper know but he's probably going to want to talk to you pretty soon."

Before the silence between them can gain much more momentum, Jacob tries a softer approach. "I can bring him here, just this once."

Leah looks past him and towards her curtain covered window. For a moment, her armor goes right back up but she shakes it off. "Give me another week, and then I'll go to him." She clears her throat. "I want to speak to Rosalie anyway. Just...not yet. One more week and I promise I'll go."

Jacob takes her at her word but he isn't above using her fears against her, not when it will benefit her more than anyone. "We both know I should just drag your ass there- -,"

He is interupped by a very unladylike snort.

"- - but instead I'm gonna make you a deal. I'll give you another week to wallow in your misery if, and only if, you go shower and then come have dinner with me, your mom and Seth."

He holds up a palm cutting off whatever protest is on the edge of her lips.

"Uh huh, those are the terms. Do we have a deal, kid?"

Leah snorts and rolls her eyes. "Kid? I'm older than you."

"But I'm your boss. I'm in charge."

Her mock outrage finally gives way to a smile. "Yeah, you are," she says and she looks just like the kid who has finally gotten her own way.

"So, come on," Jacob pulls her up. "Shower first. You smell like boiled shit."

Leah groans and grumbles but puts very little effort behind her attempts of protest. "Anyone ever tell you that you know how to make a girl feel great?"

"If only you knew," he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

They continue their banter as she lets him drag her down the hallway and shove her into the bathroom before he drops down outside the door and stands guard.

For a moment he forgets. He forgets his dead friends and his own bloody hands. He forgets that there is this wall between him and Leah, and Leah and her family, and Leah and everyone. For a moment he is right back at the beginning where nothing made sense but nobody had died yet, but as soon as it comes it is gone, replaced by grief and pain and anger that becomes more and more familiar with every breath he takes.

He hears the water running, joints click as Leah stretches and lazy grumbling. Then she mutters something, only half sarcastic and full of yearning that Jacob finds familiar. "There's no place like home."

Jacob smiles to himself as realisation sets in. They're gonna be okay.

**~fin~**

* * *

~_Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, _

_we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, _

_we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, _

_nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends~_


	20. Summary: FAQ

**FAQ**

I really hate doing this because there's nothing worse than another chapter alert that turns out to be an author's note so, sorry! :-(

However, I did receive a few reviews/ PM's regarding sequels, open ended issues, why Bella didn't die :-) . . . which I wanted to address and I thought this would be the best way to do it.

I also pretty regularly update my profile page and post what I'm working on, new ideas, future story ideas, etc. So, if you ever want to know the status of any stories etc have a peek :-)

**Why so many unanswered questions? **

Short answer? The first draft of this story was written with the intention of a sequel. Then I decided to get a full time college education on top of a part time job so now I have a ton of unfinished stories, a shed load of essays and enough free time to eat and occasionally sleep :-)

So while there is a general mental outline for a sequel, it will not be forthcoming for a while yet. Truth be told, you are more likely to see the prequel to this story (Not All Who Wander) completed before a sequel, mainly because a sequel would reference that time period (what Leah got up to when she left and before The Volturi) and I would like to lay the groundwork first.

**It doesn't make sense that the pack is protecting Bella when she broke one of their laws by killing a human. They should have been the one to kill Bella.**

I agree. A big part of this story was Jacob coming to that realisation that sitting back and watching Edward hand out the car keys, so the vamp allies could pick victims outside of Forks, made the Pack guilty by association. On the other hand, none of their, er, hands are clean. Nearly every Cullen has had blood on their hands at one point. Any one of the Pack could flip and maul someone to death. Bella sucks but she hasn't done anything in this story that Jasper, Edward...even Leah while with The Volturi, hasn't done ten times over. Plus, they are not just wolves. The Pack traditions so far have been placed above everything, even human emotions and feelings and even morals some may argue but they are still there. It's not so easy when it's your family or friend who screws up.

**Does Bells get reassembled? **

Yes, minus the ability to stand up without falling over, as usual :-)

**What about the Cullens and what was done to Bella? **

This one I kind of don't know myself. I feel Edward and perhaps Alice might see at as a great tragedy but the more level headed family members like Jasper and Carlisle might think she got off pretty lightly :-/ This is another plot point that would be explored in a sequel.

**I suppose the Cullens would seek retribution in kind if Bella didn't survive? **

As much as I don't give a (expletive) about Bella, I think anyone as melodramatic and self absorbed as Edward would in that situation.

**Still upset Bella isn't dead, but at least she got tortured more this time **

* sigh * You and me both. And torture does not help ease the pain as much as you think it would :,(

**Is it bad that I really wanted her to kill Bella?**

Well, in my unprofessional opinion it makes you very normal indeed. You seem to have a lot of support in the review section, lol :)

**It kinda makes me a little mad that Jacob is constantly ok with putting his family at risk.**

Two words: Imprinting. Bad management.

**What does Jake do about the imprint?** **Does he even GET to make a decision?**

Anybody who has ever read any of my stories knows where I stand on the whole imprinting issue. Outlook is quite unlikely on him not even attempting to break the imprinting bond :-)

**I really wanted jacob and leah to get together**

Not a question but this is something I considered/still kind of consider. If there is romance, I have two possible options in mind and Jacob is one of them. Blackwater is my Titanic when it comes to Twilight shipping but something just didn't click in this story. I think I prefer their friendship bond more and how powerful that can be without any romance :-/

**Does Leah rejoin the Pack?** ** What place does Leah have in the Pack and in La Push?**

Hmm, would she even want to? :-) When the sequel happens, this will probably make up the main plot of the story.

**Does she make up with her family? Can she fit back into her old home after what she's been through and what she's done? **

Well, she ends up back with her family at the epilogue but there's still a lot of issues that need addressing. However, there is not a lot that a mother won't forgive and Seth pretty much wore his heart on his sleeve when it came to his feelings about Leah.

**Does Leah get better?**

If the sequel goes as I have planned, then Leah will find a new purpose that will offer some self reflection.

**I would dearly love to see Leah as she tries to put the pieces of her broken life back together**

This is quite likely going to be the main theme of any sequel.

xx Thank you for reading, reviewing, PM-ing etc. I really appreciate all your comments :-) xx


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